Progressive or Naive?

You decide.

Here are two articles from today's Kuwait Times. One is about a homosexual's experiences in the country, and the other about potential ties with Israel.

I haven't read the Kuwait Times in quite a while. In fact, they used to have a "Kuwait Crime" section worse than the Arab Times, if that's possible. And we all remember that article about "What not to do in Kuwait".

I must admit though, I like what I see.

Idiot of the day

A day in the life...

Afghan run over changing tyre: A 54-year-old Afghan man died on the spot while his unidentified companion sustained serious injuries Tuesday when a vehicle driven by an Egyptian knocked them down on Fahaheel Motorway near Messilah. Security sources said the Afghan was driving along the road with his companion when he noticed he had a flat tyre. He then pulled over and he and his companion got out of the car to change the tyres. It was at this point when the Egyptian motorist hit them, resulting in the instantaneous death to the Afghan and serious injuries to his companion.
Many hurt in accidents: An Asian suffered from multiple injuries and fractures when a Kuwaiti motorist knocked him down while he was crossing a road in Hawally. The injured was rushed to Mubarak Hospital while the Kuwaiti motorist was referred to the authorities for questioning. During interrogation, the Kuwaiti motorist told police the Asian suddenly appeared on the road and he could not avoid hitting him.

In an unrelated incident, a 50-year-old Kuwaiti woman lost consciousness when her vehicle collided with another in Shuwaikh. She was referred to Sabah Hospital. On the other hand, a 35-year-old Asian had a fracture in an undisclosed part of his body when his car crashed into another on the Sixth Ring Road opposite Waha area. He was also referred for treatment to Sabah Hospital. Also, an Asian sustained injuries in various parts of his body due to a two-vehicle collision on Fahaheel Motorway. He was referred to Adan Hospital. Meanwhile, a Kuwaiti youth sustained head injuries and fractures when his motorbike hit a car, which suddenly crossed a road in Riqqa. He is now undergoing treatment in Adan Hospital.

Tankers Collided: An oil tanker collided Monday with a sewage tanker on King Fahad Motorway, resulting in injuries to the driver of the sewage tanker. After receiving information about the accident, firemen from Abdullah Port and Mubarak Al-Kabeer Fire Stations rushed to the location.

Kuwaiti killed in mishap: A 21-year-old Kuwaiti citizen lost his life in a ghastly car accident, while other occupants, a 37-year-old Bangladeshi and an 18-year-old Kuwaiti, sustained injuries when their car overturned on a highway, reports Al-Dar daily. The Bangladeshi who reportedly sustained injuries on the forehead and the younger Kuwaiti whose left arm was severed were rushed to Mubarak Hospital, while the deceased’s remains were taken to Forensics. Meanwhile, a 33-year-old Egyptian expatriate died when a fast moving car ran over him in Sulaibiya area. His remains were referred to Forensics Department, reports Al-Dar daily.

Arab expat killed: An Arab expatriate died in Sabhan when his car bumped into another car at Sabhan Industrial intersection, reports Al-Dar daily. His remains were referred to Forensics Department and investigations underway to determine the cause of his death.

Meanwhile...

Sheep-loaded boat capsizes: Firefighters plucked 40 dead sheep from the sea in the last five days after a boat loaded with livestock sank near Shuwaikh Port, reports Al-Anba daily. Sources said firefighters started rescue operations Wednesday when they saved the lives of four Iranian laborers. Sources revealed the boat was found to be in a very bad shape before leaving Iran but it continued on its journey. Kuwaiti authorities will submit a report to their Iranian counterparts to determine who should be held liable for the accident.

Idiots in Lebanon

Now now, before you get your flags out, I just want to say that I adore Lebanon. It's a gorgeous country with great people, hot women and so much more. A good example of which is the lady to my right, who I still think is the prettiest Miss Lebanon of recent years, Clemence Ashkar.

But what the fuck is up with the driving?

I was in Beirut a couple of weeks ago (for the first time might I add, so those who think my awe is old news, just bear with me) and was shocked to find that people don't wear seat belts, don't stop at traffic lights, and don't even blink at one-way signs.

No one stops at most traffic lights, but there are certain traffic lights that everyone stops at. What the fuck? How does that make any sense? I asked a cab driver what the deal was with this insanity, to which he shrugged apathetically. He did, however, mention that he "didn't like" seatbelts, has never worn one in his 35 years as a cabbie, and thinks that there is "no need" for them in Lebanon. Well, with a populace that doesn't stop at traffic lights, I think that Lebanon is probably the place they need them most.

So I'm walking down a one-way street (in the direction of the traffic) when a scooter whizzes towards me (he's going the wrong way, against traffic), almost crashes into me, then swears at me for being in the way. All while a policeman idly puffs his cigarette and chuckles at the situation. Then the fucker drives off.

What is this madness?

Chat Rooms?

I really can't make head nor tail of this report:

KUWAIT CITY : The Ministry of Commerce and Industry has asked the Ministry of Communic-ations to investigate the ‘chat rooms’ which sometimes are being used by men and women as a meeting point. Ministry of Commerce and Industry sources said the ministry put under surveillance one of the commercials issued by a private company which lured youth to start talking with members of the opposite sex for just 150 fils a minute. Such behavior, the ministry said, violates society morals. The Ministry of Commerce and Industry wants to know from the Ministry of Communications if the private company which published the commercial has a license to do so.

So is there an Internet company in Kuwait that charges 150 fils a minute? I don't get it.

The (Not so Weekly anymore) Ten

Dear Readers,

So I've decided to re-name the Weekly Ten for the obvious reason that they are not really Weekly anymore. So I'll only write them when I can be bothered.

Also, in case you were wondering what the picture's all about, well, I typed "teen" instead of "ten" when I was googling an image to add to the post. My bad. I'm really sorry. You'll just have to suffer.

So this week/month I bring you....

Top 10 Car Stickers in Kuwait

(DISCLAIMER: While the title of this particular Ten is misleading, I would just like to say that the following ten car stickers are ones that I have seen, either in real life or a photo somewhere. If you think you have better ones, then please, PLEASE let me know. Idiots on the road are my favorites.)

10 – "Impossible Love"

9 – "Off Road's Lord – Watch My Dust"

8 – "Mess with the best – die like the rest"

7 – "Death Row" (With a picture of 2pac)

6 – "Don't Cry My Life"

5 – "What do I got to do with people and people got to do with me!"

4 – "Knight of the Night"

3 – "Almost Single!"

2 – "Why Net?" ("Why Not" misspelt)

1 – "I'll treat you like my horses"

Send me more and I'll make the top 50...

Idiot of the day

Lovers in Japanese Cars

Back to the grind...

‘Lovers’ caught in the act:

Personnel from the Investigations Department have arrested an Egyptian expatriate and an Iranian woman performing immoral acts inside a Japanese-made-car late in the night, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily. Security sources said the suspects tried to escape when they saw the security personnel approaching, but the car hit a concrete barrier and was blocked. The ‘lovers’ were referred to Jleeb Al-Shuyoukh Police Station for further action.

So what exactly is the relevance of the "Japanese made car"? Does it add any value to this news report? And what if it had been, say, an "American made car"? Would they still have been arrested? Would it have been newsworthy?

And this one is just hilarious...

‘Kuwaiti wife elopes, takes children’:

An Asian man recently visited Al-Rai daily to narrate his predicament when his Kuwaiti wife allegedly eloped with her compatriot lover and took their children with her. The Asian told the daily he noticed the unusual behavior of his wife when he returned home one day. He then searched the whole room and was startled to find his wife’s lover hiding inside a closet. He immediately called police, who arrested his wife and her lover. A case was registered against them in Jleeb Al-Shuyoukh Police Station. The man later filed a lawsuit against his wife and the court ruled in his favor as he was granted custody of his children. However, the children were missing for several days and he believed his wife took them when she escaped with her lover. He asked the daily to publish pictures of his children and asked anyone who might know of their whereabouts to contact him through the newspaper. He also appealed to the Ministers of Justice and Interior to help him find his children.

The poor bastard.

Law-abiding youth assaulted:

A group of youths, who created a traffic jam in an undisclosed area by performing stunts with their cars on the road, beat a 22-year-old Kuwaiti when he asked them to stop and respect the law, reports Al-Rai. Paramedics rushed to the scene after receiving information about the incident and referred the injured to Jahra Hospital.

Another example of how you can't reason with these fuckers.

My 100th Post: Let the good times roll..

Dear Readers,

I must admit, having spent an hour reading the past month's archive of the Arab Times' "Kuwait Crime" section, I am a little overwhelmed with the amount of stupidity I've found. So to save you from having to read over 500 articles, I've decided to turn to our friends at good old Cinescape. Now there's consistency you can't compete with.

Now Showing at cinemas across Kuwait:

Ahlam Elfata Eltayesh The movie story revolves around a young man where he has many dreams which he tries to achieve, and he likes to pull crazy prank jokes on his friends, also he loves many actresses to the point he hangs their pictures on his room walls. One day he meets a young lady and he likes her, so he tries all kinds of tricks to get her attention with the help of his friend. Can he draw her attention?

Kalashnikov -Arabi The movies story revolves around an assassin (khaled) who lived in Italy for many years and works for (Taha) and killed many people. One day he goes back home to Egypt and he gets hired to assassinate a young lady (Hind), but instead of doing that he falls n love with her and he protects her. Can his plans works?

Can his plans works indeed. What's with the fucking questions at the end of every synopsis? We all know the answer is yes. For fuck's sake.

Jaane Tu ... Ya Janne Na Jai thinks Aditis parents should have rinsed her mouth with soap when she was a child. Aditi thinks that Jai is the biggest coward she has ever encountered. Jai and Aditi are perfect for each other. Friends know this. Parents know this. Everybody knows this. But do Rats and Meow know?

Who the fuck are rats and meow?

Brahmanandam Drama Company -Telugu Sivaji and Ravi Krishna turn heroes of the drama company run by Anandam. An NRI impressed with the beauty of the heroine, gives them an opportunity to stage plays in Bangkok. Once, Sivaji and Ravi try to lure the heroine of the drama company because she is quite beautiful. Irked over their behaviour, she quits the drama company before they board the flight. As their drama company gets the abroad chance for the first time, the troupe leaves for the Bangkok, on the advice of Sivaji and Ravi, that they would search a girl there as heroine at Bangkok. So, they start a hunt for a girl. In the process, Ravi comes across Arpita, who pretends that she is suffering from a mental disorder, with suicide tendency.

What the fuck is all this about?

http://webserver2.kncc.com/nowshowing.php

Robert Paschall Jr.

Dear Readers,

As you may well know, I've been away for quite some time now, and haven't been checking the blog at all. Little did I know that a post I created a little over a year ago has been the cause of controversy for the past month or so.

I'll give you a little background.

Sometime last year, I was browsing the now defunct Daily Star Weekend Edition, when I stumbled upon the "Celebrity Birthdays" section. I was quite shocked to find that they had added Rick James' birthday, even going as far as to say that he had just turned 59. The only problem is that Rick James died in 2004.

Also on the birthday list was a gentleman named Robert Paschall Jr. Now, I'm quite the film buff, and I had never heard of this guy. So I google him, only to find that he's not really a celebrity at all, but an electrician/all around set guy who's worked on his fair share of productions, such as "Walker, Texas Ranger", among others.

Naturally, one question popped into mind. Why would The Daily Star add a non-celebrity to the celebrity birthdays list? I mean, I'd be pretty chuffed if my name was up there, but I still wouldn't think it to be right if I wasn't a celebrity, right? I'm sounding pretty reasonable right now, but this is how I put it at the time:

"Has anyone ever heard of Robert Paschall Jr? Thats right, you haven't. Its because he is not a celebrity at all. He is an electrician. "Bobby" has contributed his stellar electrical know-how to such award winning audio-visual treats as "Power Rangers: Wild Force" and "Walker, Texas Ranger". I understand that our definition of celebrity is pretty blurred these days, but an electrician? Thats pushing it. Also, in my quest to find this obscure gentleman on the internet (and it was a difficult quest, spurred by mind-numbing boredom), i found out that his birthday is actually on the 31st of January. They couldn't even get that right."

You see?? They didn't even get the non-celebrity's birthday right, the morons.

Ok. So fast forward a year and a half to this morning, when I checked my blog for the first time in two months, to find the following comment on my latest post:

"Your an idiot. I left you some comments on the page discussing me. Once an idiot, always an idiot. Oh, did I mention racist. That too.

Signed
Robert Paschall Jr"

What the fuck?? Naturally, I had no idea who this guy was, so I searched for his name on my blog to find the Celebrity Birthdays post I had written so long ago. Then it made sense. To make matters worse, these are the comments he left:

"wHY ARE YOU BEING SO HATEFULL, DO I WRONG YOU?

SIGNED
Robert Paschall Jr"

"It is a sad day when a fat guy, in his moms basement, tries to be funny. It is also sad that you spend so much time on the web and still don't know how it works. Hence, your internet search sucks. I made the short film "Bruised" a few years ago and won a bunch of awards for it. So I am a little known in the film world, a world you most not be a part of. As soon as someone can tell me who you are, I will listen to your cake hole. Until then, you should stop the crap from flowing out of your mouth. If you have a problem with that, let me know, we can talk about it.

Signed
Robert Paschall Jr"

Again, What the fuck?

So I would like to set the record straight with this guy, as I have no idea what his problem is.

FIRSTLY, moron, the fact that you found my blog means that you googled yourself. That's pretty fucking sad. In fact, I'd take some geography lessons/read more so I don't type "qwait" like you did when you googled this blog last.

Secondly, if you had read the post properly and not gone neandrathal when you read your name, you would have figured out that I was making fun of the idiots at The Daily Star, and not you. They claimed Rick James was still alive and well and at Party Land buying shit for his birthday bash, and that Sherman Hemsley was 10 years older than he actually is. Also, I made fun of them for adding you to the CELEBRITY birthdays list. I'd hate to break it to you pal, but you're not a celebrity. Are you a dead coke-head 80's pop star? No. Are you a washed up comedian? No. Are you Michael Jackson's ex-wife? No. Do you think you have anything in common with the other celebrities in the list? No you don't.

I don't mean to knock you or insult you dude, but you are not famous. In fact, you've barely done ANY acting, and asides from re-wiring Chuck Norris' night light, fuck all else.

Thirdly, I wouldn't make presumptions about me and the film industry. Put it this way: I know film better than you know wires. I happen to have done quite a lot of work for the industry in the Middle East, including establishing a fund for aspiring filmmakers, as well as organizing countless film screenings. I've also written and produced several short films. But you don't see me calling myself a Celebrity, do you?

Last but not least, the fact that you'd think I'm a "fat guy living in my parent's basement" bodes really, really badly for your outlook on the world. Are all bloggers fat guys who live in their parent's basements? That's a lot of fat guys. And a lot of basements.

I am not going to apologize for you taking my post the wrong way, because I didn't insult you. I made fun of The Daily Star for being total morons.

And one more thing. I'm a racist, am I? Well if you would take your dumbass American head out of your fat American ass, you'd actually read the posts on my blog and find that there is not one iota of racism, sexism, bigotry, or any other form of discrimination on my blog.

I went to college, asshole.

If you don't like this blog, then fuck off and don't read it.

New Look, Same Great Taste!

Dear Readers,

I'd like to apologize for my two-month hiatus - I've been extremely busy with several different projects, and have not had time to go to Hardee's let alone edit my blog. But now I'm back to my habits of procrastination, and lo and behold, Idiots in Kuwait is back with a bang!

You may have noticed I have changed up the style of the blog - I think it looks pretty cool now. Fresh start, new look, same old idiots.

Boy do I have some catching up to do.

Oh, before I forget, the sketch above is courtesy of F2O designs, which/who is a cool Kuwaiti female artist. Check out her site here.

Meanwhile... Arab Times, here I come.