The Weekly Ten

Ten Tips on Driving Etiquette in Kuwait.

1 – Do not drive in the far left lane of the highway. If you do choose to drive in this lane, you must travel at a minimum speed of 200 Km/h. The objective of driving in the far left lane is to leave as little room as possible between you and the car ahead. If they do not move to the adjacent lane, flash them with your high beam.

2 – Do not be fooled by the name or the sign: Dual use lanes (Designated to go straight and left) are for single use only, usually straight. Attempting to use the lane to go left will cause a hold-up in traffic.

3 – Drive by accidents as slowly as possible. Take into consideration the fact that the cars in the traffic jam behind you must also take time to stare.

4 – If there is a queue at the U-Turn ahead of you, be an upstanding citizen and drive past the queuing cars to create a second U-Turn lane. Make sure you give a signal.

5 – Maps of the locations of speed cameras are available online. These maps will also show you the locations of the cameras that do not function. Make sure you slow down as you approach a functioning camera, but continue driving like a maniac after you have passed it.

6 – Bonus points are given for creative accidents. Wrapping your car around a lamp post usually scores the highest. Your ruined car will usually be left on the side-walk for 5 – 10 days to give the judges a chance to see.

7 – Ignore people attempting to cross the road, especially at Zebra Crossings. Beep if they do not comply.

8 – Parking at yellow and black curbs is ok, as long as you leave your emergency flasher on.

9 - If you see a friend in a neighboring car, drive adjacent to them at 20 km/h, roll your windows down, and catch up on old times.

10 – If you see a pretty girl in a neighboring car, ask for her number. If she says no, follow her home.