The Quack Doctor

Dear Readers,

Funny ass shit:

Fake doctor held after 5 yrs: Acting on information and armed with a search and arrest warrant, securitymen raided an apartment in Hawalli and arrested a quack doctor, a Jordanian identified as A.H, reports Al-Qabas daily. Police confiscated an unspecified quantity of medicines and a forged certificate from the quack doctor and referred him to authorities. The Jordanian admitted that he was illegally practicing medicine for the last five years and even performed many operations.

Firstly, what the fuck is a "quack doctor"? Ok, I know what it means, but who uses that term anyway? Francis Clifford Cardozo, are you teasing me?
And how in God's name did he manage to "perform many operations"?

The ‘hysterical’ maid: Police rushed to Jahra after a GCC national called them saying his housemaid was behaving hysterically, threatening the family, knocking doors and causing disturbance, reports Al-Rai daily. Policemen took the maid to a police station where during interrogations she admitted that she was pretending to be suffering from psychological problems.

So she googled "psychological problems" and came up with "behaving hysterically, threatening the family, knocking doors and causing disturbance".

Beggar flees detention fear: In a funny incident, an elderly woman who was begging in front of the office of Minister of Social Affairs and Labor ran away on foot when an employee told her about the office, reports Al-Anba daily.

You stupid bitch.