Kuwaiti student disqualified: A Kuwaiti studying at the Sixth of October University in Cairo has been disqualified and prevented from answering the exam during the summer semester. He has also been warned of dismissal from the university, reports Al-Shahid daily.
This happened when the university authorities caught a citizen of an unidentified GCC state for answering the exam on behalf of the Kuwaiti.
The GCC citizen has been handed over to police.
So "telephones" are referred to as "exams" in Egypt? I'd presume so, according to this article - But I have no idea why they kicked the guy out of University for answering the phone. See, I've never "answered" an exam in my life - have you? I make this conclusion, of course, based on the fact that actual exams don't talk to you - and thereby give you a reason to "answer" them. Unless, of course, the guy was on acid and the exam actually did start talking to him, in which case - I don't know, it's pretty funny. Also, why has the GCC citizen been handed over to the police? Ok, he got coerced into doing the exam for the Kuwaiti guy - but I'm sure he didn't do out out of selflessness. The Kuwaiti must've threatened him somehow, or something. The Kuwaiti gets kicked out of school, and the other guy gets sent to the police? Unfair, if you ask me.
Anywhere else in the world, the headline (if at all) would have read "GCC Citizen Arrested in Egypt". Surely that's more noteworthy than some fucker flunking school.
Drugs found: Two Kuwaiti citizens, in their twenties and thirties respectively, were arrested for the possession of hashish and pills in Sabahiya on Sunday.
Security officers on patrol duty in the area noticed a vehicle parked in front of a school in a suspicious manner. The officers approached the vehicle but it fled from the spot. After a thirty-minute long chase, they managed to stop the vehicle. A search of the car revealed two fingers of hashish and 13 pills.
Firstly, how the fuck do you determine whether or not a vehicle is "parked suspiciously"? And in Kuwait nonetheless! I challenge the Kuwaiti police to go to Hawalli on a Thursday night and show me which of all of the fucking cars there are parked normally. Secondly, the motherfucker at the Arab Times who wrote this article must be a druggie himself, seeing as, according to his prior knowledge and experience, the search revealed "two fingers" of hashish. What newspaper on earth would say "two fingers" of any drug? Seriously, call the cops on the guy.
Suicide attempted: A Sri Lankan housemaid was admitted to Amiri hospital after a failed attempt to commit suicide in her sponsor’s house in Adaliya.
According to a source, the housemaid, fed up of working for her sponsor, consumed large quantities of soap water in an attempt to end her life. She was referred to the hospital by paramedics and a case was registered.
Really? Soap water? Fucking Soap water? Not Flash, Cif, or Window Cleaner. Not even Dettol. Fucking Soap Water. Bitch just wanted the attention.
One hurt in brawl: A Kuwaiti citizen aged 32 years accused his compatriot of physical assault in Jleeb Al-Shuyoukh on Sunday.
In a case registered at the police station, the man informed security officials that he had taken a vehicle on rent from the other Kuwaiti’s shop but failed to return it on time. When he finally returned the vehicle after a delay of a week, the owner noticed that the car was damaged in several places.
On questioning the borrower, he said that the car had been given to him in the same condition. A heated argument ensued, resulting in the assault of the citizen by the owner of the shop. The victim also brought a medical report as proof of the assault.
What the fuck difference does it make if the guy gets a medical report as proof of the assault, really? What, a black eye can't get a guy arrested anymore?
Sheep stolen from farm: Police are looking for an unidentified person for stealing five sheep from a farm in Jahra, reports Al-Seyassah daily.
According to the guard of the farm the thief stole the animals when he was fast asleep.
Police are investigating.
Who was asleep? Was the thief sleepwalking? And how exactly do you steal five sheep while you're awake, let alone when you're sleepwalking.
FUCK YOU ARAB TIMES.
No comments:
Post a Comment