Tuesday, September 15, 2009

More Sheep.


Looks like the cops are on a roll with these damn sheep thieves...

Sheep thieves caught: The night squad arrested two persons for allegedly stealing sheep from farms in Jahra, reports Al-Anba daily.
Police were acting on a tip off about the suspect.
The suspect later admitted to several crimes and has been referred to concerned authorities.
In another unrelated incident, Jahra police arrested two bedouns for allegedly stealing sheep from farms, reports Al-Watan daily.
The two suspects were arrested while trying to sell their haul at a market.

"In another UNRELATED incident, more sheep were stolen."

Grandma gets boy - Mom a trafficker

KUWAIT CITY, Sept 12: In a strange case a Kuwaiti grandmother was summoned by the Farwaniya Police Station to take ‘custody’ of her five-year-old grandson because the toddler’s mother is expected to be referred to the Drugs Prevention Department for possessing three grams of heroin, reports Al-Anba daily.
The daily added the mother is also wanted by law in connection with a theft case.
According to security sources the woman was arrested by the Farwaniya police outside the Khaitan public garden as she walked to her car with her son.
The same sources said police asked the woman to show her ID and a check on the computer showed the woman was wanted by law. She was taken in a police car to the police station and later police seized from her three sachets of heroin.


Do the Arab Times staff know how to use quotation marks? Its like that scene in "Friends" where Ross is trying to explain to Joey how to use them. Is the word "custody" meant to be ironic in this article? Like, damn, hahaha, the grandma took "custody" of the kid, hahaha, even though we all know she's going to throw him out onto the street as soon as the police station's out of sight. Hahaha.

Fuckers.

And how disturbing is this? (For several reasons)

Baby found near mosque: A worshipper at Mohammad Al-Mutairi Mosque in Sabah Al-Nasser found a new-born baby girl near the mosque during Al-Fajr prayer Saturday.
Securitymen rushed to the scene immediately after receiving a call from the worshipper. They quickly took care of the baby as they discovered she was hungry but in a stable condition. This incident has prompted the security chiefs to deploy patrol teams near the mosques to avoid recurrence of such a phenomenon during night prayers.
A case was registered and investigations are underway to identify the baby’s parents.

"They quickly took care of the baby"... what the fuck does that mean? Did they breastfeed it? Did they change its diapers? And how exactly do you "take care of something quickly"? Unless its like, an e-mail you've already typed out, and all you have to do is click "send". Or if you're dying to take a piss. But even that's not quick. Taking care of a baby? Doubt it.

And finally...

7 people arrested: Police have arrested seven people in connection with criminal and civil cases. The suspects were caught by the Night Patrolmen on the Coastal Road in Mangaf, reports Al-Seyassah daily.
According to security sources, police have set up checkpoints at various places in Mangaf and Abu Halifa to minimize crime and maintain law and order.
The arrested include — three Bangladeshis, one Indian and one Egyptian and two others whose nationalities are not given. All those arrested are aged between 30 and 40 years. The suspects were referred to the concerned authorities.


This has to be the most ridiculous, pointless report in the history of the Arab Times. Shame on you guys, seriously. This is way too easy.

The police arrested seven people of various nationalities for various crimes today. I went to the supermarket to buy various things for my various fridges today. I went to the toilet to expel various excretions.. well, you get the point.

Donald Rumsfeld comes to mind: "We know where they are. They're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat." –on Iraq's weapons of mass destruction.

He's out of a job - why don't you hire him, Arab Times? At least he was funny. In a war-criminal kind of way, anyway.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

LOOOL this is too funny, i've been following up on these Arab times report for yrs, they never cease to amuse me! Thank you for pointing them out, love ur remarks!