Sheep, really.

Don't ask where I've been.

2 held in sheep theft: Two Kuwaiti citizens were arrested for stealing sheep from a farm in Jahra, reports Arrouiah daily. The two thieves were traveling in a Suburban and became flustered when security officials stopped their vehicle and asked them for identification. The officers then searched their vehicle and found the sheep. The thieves confessed to their crime and were referred to higher authorities.

How fucking hard is it to find a sheep in a vehicle? Did they actually have to conduct a search? How long did it take them? And did the sheep lie still and motionless the whole time? Was the sheep in on it? I guess we'll never know.

Kuwaiti Held in double murder case: The Criminal Court on Sunday set Sept 6, 2009 to listen to the argument of the defense lawyers in a case filed against a Kuwaiti man, identified as *********, who has been charged with the premeditated murder of his Egyptian wife and mother-in-law. Case files indicate on Aug 18, 2008, the suspect went to the house of his wife’s aunt at the suburb of Ardhiya to pick up his brother-in-law, claiming his mother-in-law wants his son to visit her at her house in Sabah Al-Salem area. Upon arriving at his mother-in-law’s house, the suspect took a Kalashnikov and fired at his wife and her mother. He then turned to his brother-in-law and shot him three times. The latter narrowly escaped death as the suspect missed his target and the gun ran out of ammunition.

After discovering the crime, the suspect’s brother hurried to the scene where he found the old woman still alive. She allegedly told him his brother fired at her and her daughter. He told police that the suspect killed his wife and mother-in-law as he got suspicious of their behavior. However, the suspect’s sister later said that his brother’s suspicions were baseless. The suspect’s eldest brother, who is a police officer, handed him over to the authorities, along with the murder weapon.

Ok, so firstly - where did the guy "take" the Kalashnikov from? Was he hiding it under his seat? A Kalashnikov is a pretty big gun. And the other guy just stood there while his brother in law shot everyone else - THEN shot him. AND he "missed his target", apparently, then he ran out of ammo. I think we need to speak to KNCC about the quality of action film we get here.

And finally...

Doctor Abused, Beaten: A man who was reported to have physically and verbally assaulted a Kuwaiti doctor in Jahra hospital has been taken into custody. Securitymen received information about the incident and rushed to the hospital where the suspect was hiding at the roof. He tried to escape but the officers successfully arrested him. He was referred to the authority concerned for investigation, while the case was registered.

Ok, so I'm going to assume, against my better judgment, that the grammar in this article is flawless. So my assumptions would lead me to believe that there is a bar/club/restaurant/shawerma place called "the roof" - I mean, it would have to be, if he was hiding "AT" the roof, right?

If I assume that the grammar is incorrect (and, consequently, that the guy who wrote it is an idiot), then I shall wonder - Why the fuck did this guy hide on the roof? In what part of his thought process did he think, "hmmm, I think I'll go up to the roof, they won't get me there".

I'm back bitches. No, really this time.