I Heart Cinescape

You've got to love these guys.

This is probably my 50th post about the stupidity of their movie synopsis page, and they persist, like a two legged dog trying to get up a hill. Respect.

This week, playing at a Cinema near you....

Bob Bos (Arabic): The film talks about a businessman, who is known in his community and has a economic and political connections, but he suffered financially due to the economic crisis that crippled the world and he can not pay his debts to the banks. At the same time, there is a business lady called "Mutaza", who also suffers financially, and she unites with the businessman, after the convergence of their interests, and both are trying to get out of this impasse.

This sounds like a fucking business presentation, and the most boring movie ever. How can you mention the financial crisis twice in the same sentence (and three times in a paragraph) and still have the balls to call yourself entertainment? Count. Me. Out.

Love Aaj Kal (Hindi): Synopsis Jai and Meera are modern-day couple living in London. They are very happy together but do not believe in tying each other down. So when life pulls them in different directions, they decide to go with the flow. "These Heer-Ranjha, Romeo-Juliet type Janam janam ka saath type couples exist only in story books", Jai says. In the real life, we have to be practical.

What would be the alternative of a "modern-day couple"? A medieval couple? Also, what the fuck is a heer-ranja, romeo-juliet type janam janam ka saath type couple? Why is there a need to write "type" twice? Is anyone even listening?

Ramadhan Mabrouk Abu Elalamein (Arabic): Arabic language teacher named Ramadan, which plays his role Mohamed Heneidy .. through his relation with school, students and parents to explode many problems, issues and positions with a satirical comedy.

Is he an explosives expert? What the fuck does "explode many problems" mean? Does he aggravate students and cause problems? If so then why is he still a teacher? Is he secret service? What the fuck is going on here?

Omar Wa Salma 2 (Arabic): In this part Salma plays the role as normal every day wife, a different side of her in the first part, while Omar misses old days of bachelorhood which leads him to an emotional relationship with Merhan which she works in his father company but Salma finds out about his relation and she asked for the divorce. Salama asks to move out from thier palce into a new apartment but the new place full of single ladies.

Firstly, that has to be the longest sentence I have ever seen. But you know what, lets give it a chance. So Salma is a normal, everday wife (??). A different side of her in the first part? Do they mean Omar Wa Salma 1 (as I presume there is one, given that this one is a sequel). She was different in the first movie. Ok. In the meantime Omar is missing being single, which leads him to cheat with a slut named Merhan, who works for his dad. Ok. So Salma finds out and asks for a divorce. Cool. Then - wait a minute - they move out from their place into a new apartment but the new place is full of single ladies. (??)

So Salma wants a divorce - why would she want to move ANYWHERE with the cheating scum Omar? And why would their new place be full of single ladies? In what world do these people exist?

Wow I got a little carried away there. Plus, I think that having given away the entire plot in the synopsis and the poster implying a comedy, we can all deduce that Salma will inevitably get over the cheating, and the single ladies (or become friends with them), and they will live happily ever after, or until some fucking moron decides to make "Omar wa Salma 3", at which point I suggest that they both die halfway through the movie. What? It would make an interesting plot-twist.

Don't waste your money.