The Weekly Ten

Top 10 Ways to Meet Girls in Kuwait.

10 – MySpace.

To impress a girl on MySpace, you must come up with a kick ass nickname. Q8istud, q8lover, myheart4you, are all great examples. Write in really bad English, and use literal translations of Arabic poetry. Then wait for a reply. But don't hold your breath.

9 – Shopping Malls.

Make sure you frequent shopping malls, especially the food court sections. When you see a girl you like, follow her around and whistle. Make sure you hold your male friend's hand while you do this.

8 – Leave a note on her car.

Leaving a note on a girl's car is another excellent way to try and win her heart. Make sure you leave your name (or your MySpace nickname), e-mail address, and phone number. Also write something romantic, like "your face nice".

7 – Work out.

Join a low-key gym, and make sure you go at least once a day. Buy expired horse steroids, and watch your biceps grow! Girls like guys with hooves.

6 – Show off.

Park your car in the street outside the outdoor section of a coffee shop. Make sure you play your music really loud. Lean against the car and smoke a cigarette. Then wait for them to come running.

5 – Dial Random Phone Numbers.

Dial random phone numbers on your phone. If you manage to get ahold of a girl, sweet talk her. If she hangs up, call back every day.

4 – Buy a Motorbike.

Buy a Motorbike and drive at break-neck speeds on the Gulf Road. Make sure you wear a loose fitting T-shirt, so the wind reveals your beautifully hairy back. Do not wear a helmet, as that way she won't be able to see your face. If you do choose to wear a helmet, make sure you apply a "No Fear" sticker on it. Chicks dig those.

3 – Follow her home.

Nothing turns a girl on more than the prospect of having a guy following her home. While the reasons for this are not known, many scientists have speculated that it could be the rush of adrenaline the girl will get from fear of being molested.

2 – Facebook.

Browse the Kuwait network on Facebook. Message girls who you think are pretty, asking them to add you. If they don't, then ask them to marry you.

1 – Bluetooth.

Switch your Bluetooth on as soon as you leave the house. Make sure your nickname is appealing (a7ebbech and kuwaitsexyman are good examples). Once you find a girl, send her pornography.