Idiots in Kuwait

Somersaulting Cars

2009-09-16T18:06:00.004+03:00

KUWAIT CITY, Sept 15: Several traffic accidents were reported Tuesday in different parts of the country, resulting in the death of two Kuwaitis and an Egyptian, as well as injuries to others.
According to security sources, the Operation Room at the Ministry of Interior received information about a vehicle that somersaulted in Mubarak Al-Kabeer. Securitymen and paramedics rushed to the location but the driver of the vehicle — a 25-year-old Kuwaiti employed at the National Guard — already succumbed to his wounds prior to the arrival of the rescue teams. His remains were referred to Forensics.

This guy must be a fucking superhero if he can get his car to somersault. Either that, or the Arab Times staff are fucking idiotic morons. I'd go with the latter.

In other news...

‘Pervert’ sought: The Salwa police are looking for an unidentified Internet hacker for threatening to publish the pictures of an unidentified young woman on a website if she refused to spend time with him on a web cam, reports Al-Shahid daily.
The woman complained to her mother and the latter filed a case with the police.

So wait, the Mom turned a blind eye (or was oblivious to) her daughter sending this freak her nude pictures, but she's totally ok with it being published in a newspaper?

Teen blackmailed for theft: A 16-year-old Kuwaiti has filed a complaint with the Kaifan Police Station accusing two persons of assaulting and blackmailing him, reports Al-Rai daily.
In his complaint to the police the victim said the two men have filmed him while breaking into a car and stealing the valuables.
He says now he has realized his mistake and wants to live a normal life but the duo are threatening to publish the clip on a website if he refused to steal from cars.

Sure, freak, you want to live a normal life now? And since when are people in Kuwait so obsessed with YouTube?? It seems every other story has to do with someone threatening someone else and then posting shit online. Seriously, how many people are going to search for "Kuwaiti car thief"?? Or even "Nude girl in Kuwait". Actually, I might search for the latter, but whatever, it's besides the point.

What I'd really like to know, though, is how this fucker got started. He wasn't blackmailed the first time, obviously - he did it out of his own free will. So now he's had a change of heart. Boo fucking Hoo.

Jahra fire suspect jail continues

KUWAIT CITY, Sept 14: The Detention Renewal Judge on Monday extended for 14 days the detention of a Kuwaiti woman, identified only as Nasra, who has been charged with setting fire to a wedding tent at the suburb of Oyoun, Jahra on Aug 15, 2009.
During the session, the woman’s lawyer requested the acquittal of his client as she is a Kuwaiti, hence, she will neither escape nor affect the case procedures.
The woman claimed one of her husband’s relatives had sent her pills to abort the baby while she is detention. Her lawyer had asked the judge to refer her to the hospital to prove her claim.

When she appeared before the Criminal Investigations Department (CID) and Public Prosecution, the woman admitted that she went mad after discovering her husband’s plan to marry another woman. She then threatened him but he pressed ahead with his wedding plans. On the day of his wedding, she took a taxi from her family’s house in Rabiya, went to a petrol station to purchase petrol and headed to the wedding tent. She poured petrol on the sides of the tent, sent it on fire, hurried back to the taxi and returned to her family’s house. The fire killed more than 40 women and children and caused serious injuries to several others.

He wants her acquitted from the case because she is a Kuwaiti. That's all I read in that sentence. Seriously, what the fuck does "She will never escape nor affect the case procedures" mean? Do Kuwaitis not have passports? Can they not obtain visas? CAN THEY NOT FUCKING LEAVE THE COUNTRY?? How many times do you read the words "sentenced in abstentia" in the Arab Times? ALOT. Therefore this murdering cow is as much of a flight risk as the fly slowly crawling up my leg.

Also, "she will never escape"??? Is that a promise, Mr. Lawyer man? Like, I promise I'll never eat Twinkies ever again. I promise I'll never ever tell a lie. Yeah right, fucker. Go back to law school.

Cool Stuff

2009-09-15T03:13:00.003+03:00

Dear Readers,

As the owner of this blog, I have made the executive decision to provide you with more than just endless bashing of those inferior to my intellect (yes, Arab Times and Cinescape, I mean you). Therefore I have decided to add more posts about general interest, sometimes relating to Kuwait, other times not - all for your entertainment. And for free, might I add.

So, my unrivaled kindness to humanity shall commence with this...

Which is a ridiculous blog with pictures and news reports about Footballer's Wives. It makes me want to gouge my eyes out, as well as put my trainers on and go out for a run, in the hope of some day playing for [insert shitty Arab football club here] and having my trouble flash her tits out on the internet.

Ah, life.

More Sheep.

2009-09-15T02:58:00.002+03:00

Looks like the cops are on a roll with these damn sheep thieves...

Sheep thieves caught: The night squad arrested two persons for allegedly stealing sheep from farms in Jahra, reports Al-Anba daily.
Police were acting on a tip off about the suspect.
The suspect later admitted to several crimes and has been referred to concerned authorities.
In another unrelated incident, Jahra police arrested two bedouns for allegedly stealing sheep from farms, reports Al-Watan daily.
The two suspects were arrested while trying to sell their haul at a market.

"In another UNRELATED incident, more sheep were stolen."

Grandma gets boy - Mom a trafficker

KUWAIT CITY, Sept 12: In a strange case a Kuwaiti grandmother was summoned by the Farwaniya Police Station to take ‘custody’ of her five-year-old grandson because the toddler’s mother is expected to be referred to the Drugs Prevention Department for possessing three grams of heroin, reports Al-Anba daily.
The daily added the mother is also wanted by law in connection with a theft case.
According to security sources the woman was arrested by the Farwaniya police outside the Khaitan public garden as she walked to her car with her son.
The same sources said police asked the woman to show her ID and a check on the computer showed the woman was wanted by law. She was taken in a police car to the police station and later police seized from her three sachets of heroin.

Do the Arab Times staff know how to use quotation marks? Its like that scene in "Friends" where Ross is trying to explain to Joey how to use them. Is the word "custody" meant to be ironic in this article? Like, damn, hahaha, the grandma took "custody" of the kid, hahaha, even though we all know she's going to throw him out onto the street as soon as the police station's out of sight. Hahaha.

Fuckers.

And how disturbing is this? (For several reasons)

Baby found near mosque: A worshipper at Mohammad Al-Mutairi Mosque in Sabah Al-Nasser found a new-born baby girl near the mosque during Al-Fajr prayer Saturday.
Securitymen rushed to the scene immediately after receiving a call from the worshipper. They quickly took care of the baby as they discovered she was hungry but in a stable condition. This incident has prompted the security chiefs to deploy patrol teams near the mosques to avoid recurrence of such a phenomenon during night prayers.
A case was registered and investigations are underway to identify the baby’s parents.

"They quickly took care of the baby"... what the fuck does that mean? Did they breastfeed it? Did they change its diapers? And how exactly do you "take care of something quickly"? Unless its like, an e-mail you've already typed out, and all you have to do is click "send". Or if you're dying to take a piss. But even that's not quick. Taking care of a baby? Doubt it.

And finally...

7 people arrested: Police have arrested seven people in connection with criminal and civil cases. The suspects were caught by the Night Patrolmen on the Coastal Road in Mangaf, reports Al-Seyassah daily.
According to security sources, police have set up checkpoints at various places in Mangaf and Abu Halifa to minimize crime and maintain law and order.
The arrested include — three Bangladeshis, one Indian and one Egyptian and two others whose nationalities are not given. All those arrested are aged between 30 and 40 years. The suspects were referred to the concerned authorities.

This has to be the most ridiculous, pointless report in the history of the Arab Times. Shame on you guys, seriously. This is way too easy.

The police arrested seven people of various nationalities for various crimes today. I went to the supermarket to buy various things for my various fridges today. I went to the toilet to expel various excretions.. well, you get the point.

Donald Rumsfeld comes to mind: "We know where they are. They're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat." –on Iraq's weapons of mass destruction.

He's out of a job - why don't you hire him, Arab Times? At least he was funny. In a war-criminal kind of way, anyway.

Cinescape are a time machine.

2009-09-08T23:31:00.003+03:00

Now Showing at Cinescape (as of September 8th, 2009):

Mr. Woodcock (2007)

First Snow (2006)

Nomad The Warrior (2005)

New in Town (2009)

Even Money (2006)

The Life Before her Eyes (2007)

Space Station 3D (2002)

What Just Happened (2008)

GI Joe: The Rise of The Cobra (2009)

Solstice (2008)

So, when only 2 of the 10 Hollywood (supposedly) films you're showing are actually new, how can you call yourself a decent cinema company?

Soap: not lethal.

2009-09-07T21:13:00.003+03:00

Kuwaiti student disqualified: A Kuwaiti studying at the Sixth of October University in Cairo has been disqualified and prevented from answering the exam during the summer semester. He has also been warned of dismissal from the university, reports Al-Shahid daily.

This happened when the university authorities caught a citizen of an unidentified GCC state for answering the exam on behalf of the Kuwaiti.

The GCC citizen has been handed over to police.

So "telephones" are referred to as "exams" in Egypt? I'd presume so, according to this article - But I have no idea why they kicked the guy out of University for answering the phone. See, I've never "answered" an exam in my life - have you? I make this conclusion, of course, based on the fact that actual exams don't talk to you - and thereby give you a reason to "answer" them. Unless, of course, the guy was on acid and the exam actually did start talking to him, in which case - I don't know, it's pretty funny. Also, why has the GCC citizen been handed over to the police? Ok, he got coerced into doing the exam for the Kuwaiti guy - but I'm sure he didn't do out out of selflessness. The Kuwaiti must've threatened him somehow, or something. The Kuwaiti gets kicked out of school, and the other guy gets sent to the police? Unfair, if you ask me.

Anywhere else in the world, the headline (if at all) would have read "GCC Citizen Arrested in Egypt". Surely that's more noteworthy than some fucker flunking school.

Drugs found: Two Kuwaiti citizens, in their twenties and thirties respectively, were arrested for the possession of hashish and pills in Sabahiya on Sunday.

Security officers on patrol duty in the area noticed a vehicle parked in front of a school in a suspicious manner. The officers approached the vehicle but it fled from the spot. After a thirty-minute long chase, they managed to stop the vehicle. A search of the car revealed two fingers of hashish and 13 pills.

Firstly, how the fuck do you determine whether or not a vehicle is "parked suspiciously"? And in Kuwait nonetheless! I challenge the Kuwaiti police to go to Hawalli on a Thursday night and show me which of all of the fucking cars there are parked normally. Secondly, the motherfucker at the Arab Times who wrote this article must be a druggie himself, seeing as, according to his prior knowledge and experience, the search revealed "two fingers" of hashish. What newspaper on earth would say "two fingers" of any drug? Seriously, call the cops on the guy.

Suicide attempted: A Sri Lankan housemaid was admitted to Amiri hospital after a failed attempt to commit suicide in her sponsor’s house in Adaliya.

According to a source, the housemaid, fed up of working for her sponsor, consumed large quantities of soap water in an attempt to end her life. She was referred to the hospital by paramedics and a case was registered.

Really? Soap water? Fucking Soap water? Not Flash, Cif, or Window Cleaner. Not even Dettol. Fucking Soap Water. Bitch just wanted the attention.

One hurt in brawl: A Kuwaiti citizen aged 32 years accused his compatriot of physical assault in Jleeb Al-Shuyoukh on Sunday.

In a case registered at the police station, the man informed security officials that he had taken a vehicle on rent from the other Kuwaiti’s shop but failed to return it on time. When he finally returned the vehicle after a delay of a week, the owner noticed that the car was damaged in several places.

On questioning the borrower, he said that the car had been given to him in the same condition. A heated argument ensued, resulting in the assault of the citizen by the owner of the shop. The victim also brought a medical report as proof of the assault.
What the fuck difference does it make if the guy gets a medical report as proof of the assault, really? What, a black eye can't get a guy arrested anymore?
Sheep stolen from farm: Police are looking for an unidentified person for stealing five sheep from a farm in Jahra, reports Al-Seyassah daily.
According to the guard of the farm the thief stole the animals when he was fast asleep.
Police are investigating.

Who was asleep? Was the thief sleepwalking? And how exactly do you steal five sheep while you're awake, let alone when you're sleepwalking.

FUCK YOU ARAB TIMES.

Cinescape have a new strategy...

2009-08-30T12:08:00.002+03:00

...which is to replace their nonsensical paragraphs with nonsensical one-liners...

Kandasamy - Tamil (No Arabic Subtitle) : Movie Kandasamy is all about black money, hawala money, Swiss bank accounts and one mans mission to bring it all back to where it belongs…..

What the fuck is "black money"? I know there's a "black money SCAM", which is a "scam where con artists attempt to fraudulently obtain money from a victim by persuading him or her that piles of banknote-sized paper in a trunk or a safe is really money which has been dyed black (e.g. to avoid detection by customs). The victim is persuaded to pay for chemicals to wash the "money" with a promise that he will share in the proceeds."

Ok. So what the fuck is hawala money? And what does it have to do with Swiss bank accounts?

Daddy Cool - Malayalam (No Arabic Subtitle): The story revolves around the bond of a father and his only son who is very passionate about cricket.

And..? Is that it? This sounds like the most boring movie ever. Let me take a shot at it:

So the father is slightly neglectful of his kid. The kid's obsessed with cricket. The father has some work-related problem and doesn't have time for the kid. The father gets fired, then has all this time to spare. He then starts to play cricket with the kid, and they bond. There you are. No need to shell out 2 KD.

Oh, and they dance, probably.

And this from the Arab Times today, which is just plain hilarious...

2 held in "shaking" car: Police have arrested an Egyptian man and a Filipino woman for committing immoral act inside a car in Sabah Al-Salem, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily
The lovers were caught by a police patrol on routine duty in the area. A security source said the patrolmen saw the parked car shaking although no one could be seen from a few meters away.
A police officer walked up to the car and saw the couple in a compromising position.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..

Fascinating, and true.

2009-08-24T11:43:00.002+03:00

By Brandon Griggs
CNN

(CNN) -- Facebook, for better or worse, is like being at a big party with all your friends, family, acquaintances and co-workers.

There are lots of fun, interesting people you're happy to talk to when they stroll up. Then there are the other people, the ones who make you cringe when you see them coming. This article is about those people.

Sure, Facebook can be a great tool for keeping up with folks who are important to you. Take the status update, the 160-character message that users post in response to the question, "What's on your mind?" An artful, witty or newsy status update is a pleasure -- a real-time, tiny window into a friend's life.

But far more posts read like navel-gazing diary entries, or worse, spam. A recent study categorized 40 percent of Twitter tweets as "pointless babble," and it wouldn't be surprising if updates on Facebook, still a fast-growing social network, break down in a similar way.

Combine dull status updates with shameless self-promoters, "friend-padders" and that friend of a friend who sends you quizzes every day, and Facebook becomes a daily reminder of why some people can get on your nerves.

Here are 12 of the most annoying types of Facebook users:

The Let-Me-Tell-You-Every-Detail-of-My-Day Bore. "I'm waking up." "I had Wheaties for breakfast." "I'm bored at work." "I'm stuck in traffic." You're kidding! How fascinating! No moment is too mundane for some people to broadcast unsolicited to the world. Just because you have 432 Facebook friends doesn't mean we all want to know when you're waiting for the bus.

The Self-Promoter. OK, so we've probably all posted at least once about some achievement. And sure, maybe your friends really do want to read the fascinating article you wrote about beet farming. But when almost EVERY update is a link to your blog, your poetry reading, your 10k results or your art show, you sound like a bragger or a self-centered careerist.

The Friend-Padder. The average Facebook user has 120 friends on the site. Schmoozers and social butterflies -- you know, the ones who make lifelong pals on the subway -- might reasonably have 300 or 400. But 1,000 "friends?" Unless you're George Clooney or just won the lottery, no one has that many. That's just showing off.

The Town Crier. "Michael Jackson is dead!!!" You heard it from me first! Me, and the 213,000 other people who all saw it on TMZ. These Matt Drudge wannabes are the reason many of us learn of breaking news not from TV or news sites but from online social networks. In their rush to trumpet the news, these people also spread rumors, half-truths and innuendo. No, Jeff Goldblum did not plunge to his death from a New Zealand cliff.

The TMIer. "Brad is heading to Walgreens to buy something for these pesky hemorrhoids." Boundaries of privacy and decorum don't seem to exist for these too-much-information updaters, who unabashedly offer up details about their sex lives, marital troubles and bodily functions. Thanks for sharing.

The Bad Grammarian. "So sad about Fara Fauset but Im so gladd its friday yippe". Yes, I know the punctuation rules are different in the digital world. And, no, no one likes a spelling-Nazi schoolmarm. But you sound like a moron.

The Sympathy-Baiter. "Barbara is feeling sad today." "Man, am I glad that's over." "Jim could really use some good news about now." Like anglers hunting for fish, these sad sacks cast out their hooks -- baited with vague tales of woe -- in the hopes of landing concerned responses. Genuine bad news is one thing, but these manipulative posts are just pleas for attention.

The Lurker. The Peeping Toms of Facebook, these voyeurs are too cautious, or maybe too lazy, to update their status or write on your wall. But once in a while, you'll be talking to them and they'll mention something you posted, so you know they're on your page, hiding in the shadows. It's just a little creepy.

The Crank. These curmudgeons, like the trolls who spew hate in blog comments, never met something they couldn't complain about. "Carl isn't really that impressed with idiots who don't realize how idiotic they are." [Actual status update.] Keep spreading the love.

The Paparazzo. Ever visit your Facebook page and discover that someone's posted a photo of you from last weekend's party -- a photo you didn't authorize and haven't even seen? You'd really rather not have to explain to your mom why you were leering like a drunken hyena and French-kissing a bottle of Jagermeister.

The Maddening Obscurist. "If not now then when?" "You'll see..." "Grist for the mill." "John is, small world." "Dave thought he was immune, but no. No, he is not." [Actual status updates, all.] Sorry, but you're not being mysterious -- just nonsensical.

Ramadan Cream y'all

2009-08-23T11:55:00.002+03:00

While browsing my blog stats today, I came across a very interesting piece of information. A whopping 60 % of people who access my blog are in fact people who are obviously googling images of sexy schoolgirl sluts, and they end up with a link to my post entitled "The (Not So Weekly Anymore) Ten" where I used an image of, you guessed it, a sexy schoolgirl slut. And she's not even naked! Moving on...

Youth caught blackmailing his girlfriend:
Police have arrested an unidentified youth for blackmailing his girlfriend, reports Al-Rai daily.
The arrest came following a complaint filed by the girl with the police. According to the complainant the suspect invited her to spend some time him and when she refused, he allegedly threatened to post her lewd pictures on the website.
When police arrested the youth, they found the victim’s pictures on his laptop computer.

So, wait a minute - they had a problem with the blackmail, but not with the fact that she is his girlfriend? And that he has lewd pictures of her on his laptop? And that they HAVE SEX. What fucking hypocrites. Regardless of anyone's personal opinion on the matter - the law is the law. And if the law in Kuwait states that you are not allowed to have sex before marriage, and that it is considered an "immoral" act, you can't go around and arrest people for having sex and then turn a blind eye when there are "lewd" pictures on the guy's laptop! For fuck's sake - and notice that they left out the nationality.

Also, this article serves as a warning for women not to withhold nookie.

Nice, Arab Times. I think they might've bought themselves a brain cell or two. That's all for today, I can't be bothered with anymore.

Random Pickpockets and Jordanian "Traps"

2009-08-20T12:26:00.003+03:00

Just another day at the Arab Times...

Pickpocket robs Kuwaiti: Police are looking for an unidentified pickpocket for stealing KD 750 and IDs of a Kuwaiti man, reports Al-Rai daily.
The incident took place in the waiting room of the Farwaniya Hospital.

Firstly, how difficult is it to steal 750 KD? Pretty damn difficult, considering the highest bill we have in Kuwait is a 20 - that makes 750 KD a sizable stack of notes. Either this guy was asleep, or he dropped his money. Either way, how are the cops looking for an "unidentified pickpocket"? I can tell you the result of the investigation now, if you like, using my psychic powers - which I like to call common sense.

‘Hot’ scenes found on Bangladeshi lover’s cell phone: A Bangladeshi man, whose identity has not been disclosed, has been arrested by police for trespassing into a private property with the intention of having sex with a maid, reports Al-Shahid daily.
The daily quoting security sources said the Kuwaiti owner of the house called police when he saw the man walking towards the maid’s room. A few moments later when he tiptoed to the room he heard the maid and the man giggling and called police.

When police arrived the Bangladeshi and the Filipino maid were caught in a compromising position. It has also been reported the Bangladeshi had filmed on his cell phone ‘hot’ scenes between him and the maid.

How the fuck is the title of this article at all a representation of the article itself? Shouldn't it have been "Bangladeshi lover nabbed in sex break-in" (which is probably the best the Arab Times could do - well, second best, considering the title they finally went for). I mean, "Hot scenes found on Bangladeshi lover's cellphone" implies that the guy may have dropped his phone somewhere, and some nosy passer-by picked it up and found the videos. It does not, however, imply that the guy broke into a house and had sex with the maid, then AFTER authorities arrested them, they found "hot" scenes on the phone. Am I going insane?

Also, why did the owner of the house "only" call the police when he saw the man walking towards the maid's room? Surely breaking and entering is a gross violation of the law. What, was he waiting to see what the guy would do? What if he had set the house on fire - what if he had a gun?

What a fucking idiot.

Kuwaiti in Jordanian’s ‘trap’: A 24-year-old Kuwaiti man has been arrested by the Jordanian police in connection with a traffic accident in Amman, reports Al-Dar daily.
However, according to available reports it is the Jordanian who collided with the vehicle of the Kuwaiti from the rear. The car of the Jordanian then hit a road barrier and went up in flames.
The Jordanian has been reportedly admitted to a hospital although he is not suffering from any injuries. The brother of the victim also said the Jordanian is demanding money for his car although according to a police report and eyewitnesses the accident was caused by the Jordanian.

This article makes no sense, although you can see that our resident moron friends at the Arab Times are attempting to be sympathetic to the Kuwaiti - hence the title. Where exactly is this "trap" they speak of?

So the guy was rushed to hospital after his car went up in flames? BIG FUCKING DEAL. Isn't that what usually happens all over the world? It even happens here in Kuwait! And how the fuck would the Arab Times know that the guy didn't have any injuries? EVEN IF THERE WERE NO VISIBLE INJURIES YOU STILL GO TO THE HOSPITAL AFTER A CAR ACCIDENT, ESPECIALLY ONE WHERE YOUR CAR BURSTS INTO FLAMES.

And, in Jordan (as well as everywhere else in the world), when you hit the rear of a car it is always your fault. Always. And this is what the investigators in Jordan will find. Whether or not the guy's brother is asking for money doesn't matter. Its still the Jordanian's fault. The article conveniently leaves out what the Jordanian authorities rules, and of course, we won't hear anything else about it, right?

Why try and put a controversial spin on something that is not at all controversial? Are you trying to sell more copies, Arab Times? Fuck off.

All live chickens stolen: Police are looking for unidentified person who allegedly broke into a poultry shop inside the Firdous Cooperative Society and stole live chickens worth KD 230, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily.

It has been reported when the owner of the shop came to work he was shocked to find one of the birds outside the shop and the bird cage empty.

As I know it, most Co-Ops in Kuwait are open 24/7, right? A luxury indeed... however, did no one notice some strange fucker holding a cage full of live chickens? And walking out the door no less? Even if the poultry shop was closed, the rest of the co-op must have been open.

Idiots in Aqaba

2009-08-20T00:11:00.003+03:00

Dearest Readers,

While I do not presume that there are many of you out there who read my mindless babble, I shall nevertheless continue to feed my ever malnourished ego and pretend that you are in the millions.... mwahahahahahahaha (end evil laugh).

Therefore, I am announcing, with tearful reminiscence, that Idiots in Aqaba is no more. For the time being. Why blog about one city, when you can blog about a whole country full of idiots?!

Stay tuned for Idiots in Jordan, coming soon to a screen (that you are most probably paid to be working on) near you.

In the meantime, enjoy Idiots in Kuwait, and please continue to send your prayers out to Idiots everywhere, mostly concentrated at the Arab Times building.

I wish I was a translator...

2009-08-18T15:18:00.004+03:00

... because I'd have made millions by now, if only Cinescape had half a brain...

Badal Fakeed (Arabic): The film about the twin brothers where each one of them grew up in a different environment. The first one got a dopted by a lady dancer and lived in a poor area, while the second one was adopted by a good family. The first one grow up to be a drug dealer but the second one became a police officer.

God this one sounds so familiar. Have I mocked it before? Perhaps. Let's have another go.
So they're twins separated at birth. What a simple, simple sentence. One of them's been adopted by a lady dancer (i.e hooker), and the other guy got adopted by a good family. Lo and behold, the two are to confront in a world full of lies and deceit, where the twin brothers are on opposite sides of the law. Who will make it out alive?

Who gives a shit.

Dokan Shehata (Arabic): Shehata is the son of farmer who opened a fruit shop and was named after his son Shehata. Shahata suffering from the influence of his brothers and their bad treatment which end up in tragedy. The film discusses the problems and the bad situations which affected the community.

Hold on. Shehata is the son of farmer who opened a fruit shop and was named after his son Shehata. What the fuck? That makes no sense at all. Are both the father and son named Shehata? The fruit shop is definitely named Shehata. Are these people morons? Then, Shehata (I have no idea which Shehata it is at this point), suffers from the influence and bad treatment of his brothers (who are most probably called Shehata), with everything inevitably ending up in tragedy - with, of course, the staple Egyptian subplot of "discussing" bad situations that are affecting the community - naturally masked by horrendous camera work and below-par soap opera acting.

Also, check out Cinescape's poster for the movie in comparison with the poster above. Notice the big-titted woman. Painfully ironic - or just plain pathetic.

I can't fucking wait.

Porn Education/I love Kuwait

2009-08-17T14:08:00.004+03:00

Totally unrelated, but equally amusing...

School warned for showing porn to students

KUWAIT CITY : Department of the Private Education has sent an official warning to a foreign private school for showing some of its students a video containing pornographic material under the pretext of sex education, reports Arrouiah daily.
According to sources, this step by the department had received mixed responses from MPs. While some parliamentarians have demanded the closure of the school, others have approved of the action taken by the department, calling it “adequate and satisfactory”.

Let me begin my unabashed criticism of the above article/actual incident by providing a definition of "pornography" (albeit according to the first online dictionary I could find):

Main Entry: por·nog·ra·phy
Function: noun
Etymology: Greek pornographos, adjective, writing about prostitutes, from pornē prostitute + graphein to write; akin to Greek pernanai to sell, poros journey — more at fare, carve
Date: 1858

1 : the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement
2 : material (as books or a photograph) that depicts erotic behavior and is intended to cause sexual excitement
3 : the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction pornography of violence>

From this definition we can deduce that a sex education video depicting actual intercourse (such videos exist, of course, in many countries around the globe), cannot be classed as "pornography" because ultimately, their main intention is to educate - and any sexual excitement resulting from the videos is unintentional.

Our friends at the Arab Times, and perhaps the powers that be, may not have spent two minutes on google like I did, and of course may not have found such an explicit (pun intended) definition for porn, and, of course, they jumped all over it like it was Michael Jackson's satan-worship memorial at Marina Beach.

I think the Arab Times should open an investigative reporting department. Oh, wait, they already have one.

In other news:

Most serious traffic violations committed by residents

KUWAIT CITY : According to recent statistics, the most serious traffic violations are committed by resident expatriates, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily.
In a report published by the General Traffic Department, it was seen that 16,603 traffic violations were cited to expatriates in the month of July, while Kuwaiti citizens were issued 5,765 citations.
Security sources added the department would continue its ongoing efforts to bring down the rate of traffic law violations in the country.

This article can be labeled "just plain ridiculous" based on the following facts (yeah, I'm in that kind of mood today):

According to the 2007 national census, the population of Kuwait was estimated to be anywhere in the region of 3 - 3.5 million. Let's compromise and presume that its 3.25 million.

In addition, the census states that approximately 68.4 % of the population are expatriates. Although, in my opinion that figure is a gross underestimate. But whatever, let's play along.

(Getting my calculator out).

That means that 2.223 million are expatriates, and 1.277 million are Kuwaiti. Are you following me?

Naturally, expat traffic violations will exceed Kuwaiti traffic violations simply because expats constitute almost 70 % of the population.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing Kuwaitis and supporting expats, nor am I doing the opposite; I think anyone who fucks around on the road should be given a ticket. However, I think that there is absolutely no good reason for the Arab Times to publish such a useless article. It's not even interesting, like, say an article that states that 72 % of Hardees customers are Kuwaiti. Who gives a shit?

AND, if you do want to mention such useless facts, tell the whole story. One day, not too long ago, I cracked my windscreen. On my way to Shuwaikh, I got 2 tickets for the same cracked windscreen, because apparently I'm not allowed to drive around with one. I even showed the second cop my first ticket, and all I got was a lousy "Mali shughol".

What's the deal, yo?

Also, check out the title of the article. It says that the "most serious" traffic violations are committed by expatriates - then it goes on to give the total number of violations committed by expatriates and Kuwaitis in the month of July. Are there only the "serious" violations, or just the regular ones? Can anyone else see the dumbass ambiguity?

I Heart Cinescape

2009-08-12T09:21:00.002+03:00

You've got to love these guys.

This is probably my 50th post about the stupidity of their movie synopsis page, and they persist, like a two legged dog trying to get up a hill. Respect.

This week, playing at a Cinema near you....

Bob Bos (Arabic): The film talks about a businessman, who is known in his community and has a economic and political connections, but he suffered financially due to the economic crisis that crippled the world and he can not pay his debts to the banks. At the same time, there is a business lady called "Mutaza", who also suffers financially, and she unites with the businessman, after the convergence of their interests, and both are trying to get out of this impasse.

This sounds like a fucking business presentation, and the most boring movie ever. How can you mention the financial crisis twice in the same sentence (and three times in a paragraph) and still have the balls to call yourself entertainment? Count. Me. Out.

Love Aaj Kal (Hindi): Synopsis Jai and Meera are modern-day couple living in London. They are very happy together but do not believe in tying each other down. So when life pulls them in different directions, they decide to go with the flow. "These Heer-Ranjha, Romeo-Juliet type Janam janam ka saath type couples exist only in story books", Jai says. In the real life, we have to be practical.

What would be the alternative of a "modern-day couple"? A medieval couple? Also, what the fuck is a heer-ranja, romeo-juliet type janam janam ka saath type couple? Why is there a need to write "type" twice? Is anyone even listening?

Ramadhan Mabrouk Abu Elalamein (Arabic): Arabic language teacher named Ramadan, which plays his role Mohamed Heneidy .. through his relation with school, students and parents to explode many problems, issues and positions with a satirical comedy.

Is he an explosives expert? What the fuck does "explode many problems" mean? Does he aggravate students and cause problems? If so then why is he still a teacher? Is he secret service? What the fuck is going on here?

Omar Wa Salma 2 (Arabic): In this part Salma plays the role as normal every day wife, a different side of her in the first part, while Omar misses old days of bachelorhood which leads him to an emotional relationship with Merhan which she works in his father company but Salma finds out about his relation and she asked for the divorce. Salama asks to move out from thier palce into a new apartment but the new place full of single ladies.

Firstly, that has to be the longest sentence I have ever seen. But you know what, lets give it a chance. So Salma is a normal, everday wife (??). A different side of her in the first part? Do they mean Omar Wa Salma 1 (as I presume there is one, given that this one is a sequel). She was different in the first movie. Ok. In the meantime Omar is missing being single, which leads him to cheat with a slut named Merhan, who works for his dad. Ok. So Salma finds out and asks for a divorce. Cool. Then - wait a minute - they move out from their place into a new apartment but the new place is full of single ladies. (??)

So Salma wants a divorce - why would she want to move ANYWHERE with the cheating scum Omar? And why would their new place be full of single ladies? In what world do these people exist?

Wow I got a little carried away there. Plus, I think that having given away the entire plot in the synopsis and the poster implying a comedy, we can all deduce that Salma will inevitably get over the cheating, and the single ladies (or become friends with them), and they will live happily ever after, or until some fucking moron decides to make "Omar wa Salma 3", at which point I suggest that they both die halfway through the movie. What? It would make an interesting plot-twist.

Don't waste your money.

Top 10 funniest things people Google and end up finding my blog...

2009-08-10T11:21:00.003+03:00

No bullshit.

10 - "bad sabah hospital experiences kuwait"

9 - "does ringomax works from kuwait"

8 - "police caught filipina in doha"

7 - "teen crossdressers"

6 - "baby playgroups in kuwait"

5 - "brothels of kuwait"

4 - "kuwait sex blog"

3 - "i got a filipina pregnant in kuwait"

2 - "2007 gang rape or filipina in kuwait"

1 - "prostitutes in kuwait"

DUDE... someone open a bar already...

Sheep, really.

2009-08-10T10:12:00.006+03:00

Don't ask where I've been.

2 held in sheep theft: Two Kuwaiti citizens were arrested for stealing sheep from a farm in Jahra, reports Arrouiah daily. The two thieves were traveling in a Suburban and became flustered when security officials stopped their vehicle and asked them for identification. The officers then searched their vehicle and found the sheep. The thieves confessed to their crime and were referred to higher authorities.

How fucking hard is it to find a sheep in a vehicle? Did they actually have to conduct a search? How long did it take them? And did the sheep lie still and motionless the whole time? Was the sheep in on it? I guess we'll never know.

Kuwaiti Held in double murder case: The Criminal Court on Sunday set Sept 6, 2009 to listen to the argument of the defense lawyers in a case filed against a Kuwaiti man, identified as *********, who has been charged with the premeditated murder of his Egyptian wife and mother-in-law. Case files indicate on Aug 18, 2008, the suspect went to the house of his wife’s aunt at the suburb of Ardhiya to pick up his brother-in-law, claiming his mother-in-law wants his son to visit her at her house in Sabah Al-Salem area. Upon arriving at his mother-in-law’s house, the suspect took a Kalashnikov and fired at his wife and her mother. He then turned to his brother-in-law and shot him three times. The latter narrowly escaped death as the suspect missed his target and the gun ran out of ammunition.

After discovering the crime, the suspect’s brother hurried to the scene where he found the old woman still alive. She allegedly told him his brother fired at her and her daughter. He told police that the suspect killed his wife and mother-in-law as he got suspicious of their behavior. However, the suspect’s sister later said that his brother’s suspicions were baseless. The suspect’s eldest brother, who is a police officer, handed him over to the authorities, along with the murder weapon.

Ok, so firstly - where did the guy "take" the Kalashnikov from? Was he hiding it under his seat? A Kalashnikov is a pretty big gun. And the other guy just stood there while his brother in law shot everyone else - THEN shot him. AND he "missed his target", apparently, then he ran out of ammo. I think we need to speak to KNCC about the quality of action film we get here.

And finally...

Doctor Abused, Beaten: A man who was reported to have physically and verbally assaulted a Kuwaiti doctor in Jahra hospital has been taken into custody. Securitymen received information about the incident and rushed to the hospital where the suspect was hiding at the roof. He tried to escape but the officers successfully arrested him. He was referred to the authority concerned for investigation, while the case was registered.

Ok, so I'm going to assume, against my better judgment, that the grammar in this article is flawless. So my assumptions would lead me to believe that there is a bar/club/restaurant/shawerma place called "the roof" - I mean, it would have to be, if he was hiding "AT" the roof, right?

If I assume that the grammar is incorrect (and, consequently, that the guy who wrote it is an idiot), then I shall wonder - Why the fuck did this guy hide on the roof? In what part of his thought process did he think, "hmmm, I think I'll go up to the roof, they won't get me there".

I'm back bitches. No, really this time.

So what have I missed?

2009-04-13T10:37:00.004+03:00

Not much, apparently. But don't you worry, I'll catch up on any noteworthy news reports of the past six months (thank God for archives!).. I see the "Kuwait Crime" section is still there on the Arab Times website. God bless them, seriously.

Let's get down to business:

Briton sentenced to ‘life’ in drugs, alcohol case

KUWAIT CITY : The Criminal Court on Sunday sentenced a British man, identified as Timothy Rutherford, to life imprisonment to be followed by deportation for smuggling 49 kilos of hashish and alcohol into the country for trafficking.

Ok, so last time I checked, the Arab Times wouldn't name people involved in crimes. If they did name them, they'd be like "the man was identified as M.S"... going so far as to give initials. But here, they've said the guy's whole name! Wait a minute... is it because he's British? Could be...

Filipina reports Pakistani lover: A Philippine domestic employee of a Kuwaiti family in Doha filed a case in Sulaibikhat Police Station against a Pakistani, claiming that she got pregnant after a long sexual relation with the suspect who promised to marry her. She added that the suspect reneged his on promise and attempted to flee the country when she informed him about the pregnancy. A case has been registered.

I miss this stuff!

Man in trust betrayal: A Kuwaiti woman has filed a complaint with the police accusing a compatriot person of betrayal of trust, reports Al-Shahid daily.
According to the daily the suspect is well-known to the victim and when he needed some money he requested to borrow KD 1,500 from the woman.
The woman reportedly gave the man her ATM card and the latter allegedly returned the ATM card after one week and the woman discovered the man had withdrawn KD 9,000 from her account.

Why the fuck would you give ANYONE your ATM card? And a stranger too! Not like your Mom or your sister or even your cousin. A total fucking stranger! Serves her right!

Pimp held, prostitutes "freed"

Kuwait : Acting on information and armed with a search and arrest warrant, police raided an apartment in Jleeb Al-Shuyoukh and arrested a Bangladeshi pimp and released five housemaids who had been kidnapped and forced into prostitution, reports Al-Rai daily. The daily did not give more details.

Why are there quotation marks around "freed"? Is it sarcasm? It's a first for the Arab times, apparently, and a breakthrough in my opinion. The prostitutes were "freed" from the pimp, only to be "taken in" by the police, "thrown" in prison", and given "long sentences".

Motherfuckers.

Idiots in Kuwait: The Return?

2009-04-13T10:30:00.001+03:00

So I'm checking my Statcounter (the thing that counts the number of hits you get), and I found out that I still average around 4-500 people a month. That's 4-500 people who read my blog. I know, I know, it's not much. But still, its alright considering I haven't updated it for over six months now.

So I have decided, based on popular demand, to return "Idiots in Kuwait" to the forefront of mediocre blogs in the country.

Missed me?

Bye Bye Kuwait

2008-09-27T17:13:00.002+03:00

Dear Readers,

It is with a heavy heard I announce the tragic end of Idiots in Kuwait. It's really been a blast pissing people off all these years. I no longer live in Kuwait, I'm afraid, so I don't think it's fair to keep making fun of Kuwait's half-wits if I don't live there anymore!

This is why, having moved to Jordan, I have a new blog entitled, you guessed it, "Idiots in Aqaba".

So my friends, I bid you farewell. I hope i'll be back soon, but I'm lying.

Progressive or Naive?

2008-07-24T00:44:00.003+03:00

You decide.

Here are two articles from today's Kuwait Times. One is about a homosexual's experiences in the country, and the other about potential ties with Israel.

I haven't read the Kuwait Times in quite a while. In fact, they used to have a "Kuwait Crime" section worse than the Arab Times, if that's possible. And we all remember that article about "What not to do in Kuwait".

I must admit though, I like what I see.

Idiot of the day

2008-07-23T15:51:00.001+03:00

A day in the life...

2008-07-23T15:39:00.003+03:00

Afghan run over changing tyre: A 54-year-old Afghan man died on the spot while his unidentified companion sustained serious injuries Tuesday when a vehicle driven by an Egyptian knocked them down on Fahaheel Motorway near Messilah. Security sources said the Afghan was driving along the road with his companion when he noticed he had a flat tyre. He then pulled over and he and his companion got out of the car to change the tyres. It was at this point when the Egyptian motorist hit them, resulting in the instantaneous death to the Afghan and serious injuries to his companion.
Many hurt in accidents: An Asian suffered from multiple injuries and fractures when a Kuwaiti motorist knocked him down while he was crossing a road in Hawally. The injured was rushed to Mubarak Hospital while the Kuwaiti motorist was referred to the authorities for questioning. During interrogation, the Kuwaiti motorist told police the Asian suddenly appeared on the road and he could not avoid hitting him.

In an unrelated incident, a 50-year-old Kuwaiti woman lost consciousness when her vehicle collided with another in Shuwaikh. She was referred to Sabah Hospital. On the other hand, a 35-year-old Asian had a fracture in an undisclosed part of his body when his car crashed into another on the Sixth Ring Road opposite Waha area. He was also referred for treatment to Sabah Hospital. Also, an Asian sustained injuries in various parts of his body due to a two-vehicle collision on Fahaheel Motorway. He was referred to Adan Hospital. Meanwhile, a Kuwaiti youth sustained head injuries and fractures when his motorbike hit a car, which suddenly crossed a road in Riqqa. He is now undergoing treatment in Adan Hospital.

Tankers Collided: An oil tanker collided Monday with a sewage tanker on King Fahad Motorway, resulting in injuries to the driver of the sewage tanker. After receiving information about the accident, firemen from Abdullah Port and Mubarak Al-Kabeer Fire Stations rushed to the location.

Kuwaiti killed in mishap: A 21-year-old Kuwaiti citizen lost his life in a ghastly car accident, while other occupants, a 37-year-old Bangladeshi and an 18-year-old Kuwaiti, sustained injuries when their car overturned on a highway, reports Al-Dar daily. The Bangladeshi who reportedly sustained injuries on the forehead and the younger Kuwaiti whose left arm was severed were rushed to Mubarak Hospital, while the deceased’s remains were taken to Forensics. Meanwhile, a 33-year-old Egyptian expatriate died when a fast moving car ran over him in Sulaibiya area. His remains were referred to Forensics Department, reports Al-Dar daily.

Arab expat killed: An Arab expatriate died in Sabhan when his car bumped into another car at Sabhan Industrial intersection, reports Al-Dar daily. His remains were referred to Forensics Department and investigations underway to determine the cause of his death.

Meanwhile...

Sheep-loaded boat capsizes: Firefighters plucked 40 dead sheep from the sea in the last five days after a boat loaded with livestock sank near Shuwaikh Port, reports Al-Anba daily. Sources said firefighters started rescue operations Wednesday when they saved the lives of four Iranian laborers. Sources revealed the boat was found to be in a very bad shape before leaving Iran but it continued on its journey. Kuwaiti authorities will submit a report to their Iranian counterparts to determine who should be held liable for the accident.

Idiots in Lebanon

2008-07-22T19:19:00.004+03:00

Now now, before you get your flags out, I just want to say that I adore Lebanon. It's a gorgeous country with great people, hot women and so much more. A good example of which is the lady to my right, who I still think is the prettiest Miss Lebanon of recent years, Clemence Ashkar.

But what the fuck is up with the driving?

I was in Beirut a couple of weeks ago (for the first time might I add, so those who think my awe is old news, just bear with me) and was shocked to find that people don't wear seat belts, don't stop at traffic lights, and don't even blink at one-way signs.

No one stops at most traffic lights, but there are certain traffic lights that everyone stops at. What the fuck? How does that make any sense? I asked a cab driver what the deal was with this insanity, to which he shrugged apathetically. He did, however, mention that he "didn't like" seatbelts, has never worn one in his 35 years as a cabbie, and thinks that there is "no need" for them in Lebanon. Well, with a populace that doesn't stop at traffic lights, I think that Lebanon is probably the place they need them most.

So I'm walking down a one-way street (in the direction of the traffic) when a scooter whizzes towards me (he's going the wrong way, against traffic), almost crashes into me, then swears at me for being in the way. All while a policeman idly puffs his cigarette and chuckles at the situation. Then the fucker drives off.

What is this madness?

Chat Rooms?

2008-07-22T11:49:00.002+03:00

I really can't make head nor tail of this report:

KUWAIT CITY : The Ministry of Commerce and Industry has asked the Ministry of Communic-ations to investigate the ‘chat rooms’ which sometimes are being used by men and women as a meeting point. Ministry of Commerce and Industry sources said the ministry put under surveillance one of the commercials issued by a private company which lured youth to start talking with members of the opposite sex for just 150 fils a minute. Such behavior, the ministry said, violates society morals. The Ministry of Commerce and Industry wants to know from the Ministry of Communications if the private company which published the commercial has a license to do so.

So is there an Internet company in Kuwait that charges 150 fils a minute? I don't get it.

The (Not so Weekly anymore) Ten

2008-07-22T00:49:00.005+03:00

Dear Readers,

So I've decided to re-name the Weekly Ten for the obvious reason that they are not really Weekly anymore. So I'll only write them when I can be bothered.

Also, in case you were wondering what the picture's all about, well, I typed "teen" instead of "ten" when I was googling an image to add to the post. My bad. I'm really sorry. You'll just have to suffer.

So this week/month I bring you....

Top 10 Car Stickers in Kuwait

(DISCLAIMER: While the title of this particular Ten is misleading, I would just like to say that the following ten car stickers are ones that I have seen, either in real life or a photo somewhere. If you think you have better ones, then please, PLEASE let me know. Idiots on the road are my favorites.)

10 – "Impossible Love"

9 – "Off Road's Lord – Watch My Dust"

8 – "Mess with the best – die like the rest"

7 – "Death Row" (With a picture of 2pac)

6 – "Don't Cry My Life"

5 – "What do I got to do with people and people got to do with me!"

4 – "Knight of the Night"

3 – "Almost Single!"

2 – "Why Net?" ("Why Not" misspelt)

1 – "I'll treat you like my horses"

Send me more and I'll make the top 50...

Idiot of the day

2008-07-21T13:03:00.000+03:00

Lovers in Japanese Cars

2008-07-21T12:44:00.006+03:00

Back to the grind...

‘Lovers’ caught in the act:

Personnel from the Investigations Department have arrested an Egyptian expatriate and an Iranian woman performing immoral acts inside a Japanese-made-car late in the night, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily. Security sources said the suspects tried to escape when they saw the security personnel approaching, but the car hit a concrete barrier and was blocked. The ‘lovers’ were referred to Jleeb Al-Shuyoukh Police Station for further action.

So what exactly is the relevance of the "Japanese made car"? Does it add any value to this news report? And what if it had been, say, an "American made car"? Would they still have been arrested? Would it have been newsworthy?

And this one is just hilarious...

‘Kuwaiti wife elopes, takes children’:

An Asian man recently visited Al-Rai daily to narrate his predicament when his Kuwaiti wife allegedly eloped with her compatriot lover and took their children with her. The Asian told the daily he noticed the unusual behavior of his wife when he returned home one day. He then searched the whole room and was startled to find his wife’s lover hiding inside a closet. He immediately called police, who arrested his wife and her lover. A case was registered against them in Jleeb Al-Shuyoukh Police Station.

The man later filed a lawsuit against his wife and the court ruled in his favor as he was granted custody of his children. However, the children were missing for several days and he believed his wife took them when she escaped with her lover. He asked the daily to publish pictures of his children and asked anyone who might know of their whereabouts to contact him through the newspaper. He also appealed to the Ministers of Justice and Interior to help him find his children.

The poor bastard.

Law-abiding youth assaulted:

A group of youths, who created a traffic jam in an undisclosed area by performing stunts with their cars on the road, beat a 22-year-old Kuwaiti when he asked them to stop and respect the law, reports Al-Rai. Paramedics rushed to the scene after receiving information about the incident and referred the injured to Jahra Hospital.

Another example of how you can't reason with these fuckers.

My 100th Post: Let the good times roll..

2008-07-21T02:47:00.003+03:00

Dear Readers,

I must admit, having spent an hour reading the past month's archive of the Arab Times' "Kuwait Crime" section, I am a little overwhelmed with the amount of stupidity I've found. So to save you from having to read over 500 articles, I've decided to turn to our friends at good old Cinescape. Now there's consistency you can't compete with.

Now Showing at cinemas across Kuwait:

Ahlam Elfata Eltayesh The movie story revolves around a young man where he has many dreams which he tries to achieve, and he likes to pull crazy prank jokes on his friends, also he loves many actresses to the point he hangs their pictures on his room walls. One day he meets a young lady and he likes her, so he tries all kinds of tricks to get her attention with the help of his friend. Can he draw her attention?

Kalashnikov -Arabi The movies story revolves around an assassin (khaled) who lived in Italy for many years and works for (Taha) and killed many people. One day he goes back home to Egypt and he gets hired to assassinate a young lady (Hind), but instead of doing that he falls n love with her and he protects her. Can his plans works?

Can his plans works indeed. What's with the fucking questions at the end of every synopsis? We all know the answer is yes. For fuck's sake.

Jaane Tu ... Ya Janne Na Jai thinks Aditis parents should have rinsed her mouth with soap when she was a child. Aditi thinks that Jai is the biggest coward she has ever encountered. Jai and Aditi are perfect for each other. Friends know this. Parents know this. Everybody knows this. But do Rats and Meow know?

Who the fuck are rats and meow?

Brahmanandam Drama Company -Telugu Sivaji and Ravi Krishna turn heroes of the drama company run by Anandam. An NRI impressed with the beauty of the heroine, gives them an opportunity to stage plays in Bangkok. Once, Sivaji and Ravi try to lure the heroine of the drama company because she is quite beautiful. Irked over their behaviour, she quits the drama company before they board the flight. As their drama company gets the abroad chance for the first time, the troupe leaves for the Bangkok, on the advice of Sivaji and Ravi, that they would search a girl there as heroine at Bangkok. So, they start a hunt for a girl. In the process, Ravi comes across Arpita, who pretends that she is suffering from a mental disorder, with suicide tendency.

What the fuck is all this about?

http://webserver2.kncc.com/nowshowing.php

Robert Paschall Jr.

2008-07-20T02:17:00.006+03:00

Dear Readers,

As you may well know, I've been away for quite some time now, and haven't been checking the blog at all. Little did I know that a post I created a little over a year ago has been the cause of controversy for the past month or so.

I'll give you a little background.

Sometime last year, I was browsing the now defunct Daily Star Weekend Edition, when I stumbled upon the "Celebrity Birthdays" section. I was quite shocked to find that they had added Rick James' birthday, even going as far as to say that he had just turned 59. The only problem is that Rick James died in 2004.

Also on the birthday list was a gentleman named Robert Paschall Jr. Now, I'm quite the film buff, and I had never heard of this guy. So I google him, only to find that he's not really a celebrity at all, but an electrician/all around set guy who's worked on his fair share of productions, such as "Walker, Texas Ranger", among others.

Naturally, one question popped into mind. Why would The Daily Star add a non-celebrity to the celebrity birthdays list? I mean, I'd be pretty chuffed if my name was up there, but I still wouldn't think it to be right if I wasn't a celebrity, right? I'm sounding pretty reasonable right now, but this is how I put it at the time:

"Has anyone ever heard of Robert Paschall Jr? Thats right, you haven't. Its because he is not a celebrity at all. He is an electrician. "Bobby" has contributed his stellar electrical know-how to such award winning audio-visual treats as "Power Rangers: Wild Force" and "Walker, Texas Ranger". I understand that our definition of celebrity is pretty blurred these days, but an electrician? Thats pushing it. Also, in my quest to find this obscure gentleman on the internet (and it was a difficult quest, spurred by mind-numbing boredom), i found out that his birthday is actually on the 31st of January. They couldn't even get that right."

You see?? They didn't even get the non-celebrity's birthday right, the morons.

Ok. So fast forward a year and a half to this morning, when I checked my blog for the first time in two months, to find the following comment on my latest post:

"Your an idiot. I left you some comments on the page discussing me. Once an idiot, always an idiot. Oh, did I mention racist. That too.

Signed
Robert Paschall Jr"

What the fuck?? Naturally, I had no idea who this guy was, so I searched for his name on my blog to find the Celebrity Birthdays post I had written so long ago. Then it made sense. To make matters worse, these are the comments he left:

"wHY ARE YOU BEING SO HATEFULL, DO I WRONG YOU?

SIGNED
Robert Paschall Jr"

"It is a sad day when a fat guy, in his moms basement, tries to be funny. It is also sad that you spend so much time on the web and still don't know how it works. Hence, your internet search sucks. I made the short film "Bruised" a few years ago and won a bunch of awards for it. So I am a little known in the film world, a world you most not be a part of. As soon as someone can tell me who you are, I will listen to your cake hole. Until then, you should stop the crap from flowing out of your mouth. If you have a problem with that, let me know, we can talk about it.

Signed
Robert Paschall Jr"

Again, What the fuck?

So I would like to set the record straight with this guy, as I have no idea what his problem is.

FIRSTLY, moron, the fact that you found my blog means that you googled yourself. That's pretty fucking sad. In fact, I'd take some geography lessons/read more so I don't type "qwait" like you did when you googled this blog last.

Secondly, if you had read the post properly and not gone neandrathal when you read your name, you would have figured out that I was making fun of the idiots at The Daily Star, and not you. They claimed Rick James was still alive and well and at Party Land buying shit for his birthday bash, and that Sherman Hemsley was 10 years older than he actually is. Also, I made fun of them for adding you to the CELEBRITY birthdays list. I'd hate to break it to you pal, but you're not a celebrity. Are you a dead coke-head 80's pop star? No. Are you a washed up comedian? No. Are you Michael Jackson's ex-wife? No. Do you think you have anything in common with the other celebrities in the list? No you don't.

I don't mean to knock you or insult you dude, but you are not famous. In fact, you've barely done ANY acting, and asides from re-wiring Chuck Norris' night light, fuck all else.

Thirdly, I wouldn't make presumptions about me and the film industry. Put it this way: I know film better than you know wires. I happen to have done quite a lot of work for the industry in the Middle East, including establishing a fund for aspiring filmmakers, as well as organizing countless film screenings. I've also written and produced several short films. But you don't see me calling myself a Celebrity, do you?

Last but not least, the fact that you'd think I'm a "fat guy living in my parent's basement" bodes really, really badly for your outlook on the world. Are all bloggers fat guys who live in their parent's basements? That's a lot of fat guys. And a lot of basements.

I am not going to apologize for you taking my post the wrong way, because I didn't insult you. I made fun of The Daily Star for being total morons.

And one more thing. I'm a racist, am I? Well if you would take your dumbass American head out of your fat American ass, you'd actually read the posts on my blog and find that there is not one iota of racism, sexism, bigotry, or any other form of discrimination on my blog.

I went to college, asshole.

If you don't like this blog, then fuck off and don't read it.

New Look, Same Great Taste!

2008-07-20T02:08:00.003+03:00

Dear Readers,

I'd like to apologize for my two-month hiatus - I've been extremely busy with several different projects, and have not had time to go to Hardee's let alone edit my blog. But now I'm back to my habits of procrastination, and lo and behold, Idiots in Kuwait is back with a bang!

You may have noticed I have changed up the style of the blog - I think it looks pretty cool now. Fresh start, new look, same old idiots.

Boy do I have some catching up to do.

Oh, before I forget, the sketch above is courtesy of F2O designs, which/who is a cool Kuwaiti female artist. Check out her site here.

Meanwhile... Arab Times, here I come.

Cine who?

2008-05-12T18:55:00.002+03:00

I've been away for a while, but not much has changed.

Sabahoo Kedb The movie story revolves around a blind man called (Neaana) who gets his sight back, but he does not tell anyone about it until he knows the truth about the people that surround him. But he gets a nerve breakdown once he knows them very well.

Kass we Lazk The young lady (Jameelah) just turn thirty years old, so she decides to immigrate to New Zealand but her plan fails. She meets a young man (Yousef), who is thinking to immigrate also, Jameelah makes a deal with Yousef which will help them to immigrate to New Zealand, but this deal got pushed in a different direction that they did not expect.

Annan Thambi -Malayalam Brothers, twins, born within a difference of 90 seconds. The problem with them is that one is dumb and the other is verbose. To avoid more casualties due to sibling rivalry, one is sent to Pollachi with his uncle and other stays back with his parents. Appu the eldest of the twins is a vitriolic troublemaker, and erstwhile associate and present enemy of Dharmarajan, whos niece Thenmozhi is madly after Appu.

Blame Life.

2008-05-12T18:43:00.004+03:00

Dear Readers,

Sorry I haven't been blogging much lately, but I've been extremely busy with work. Ho hum. Anyway, I have decided to blurt out three posts today, just to make all of you feel special.

Enjoy:

Chat-mate beats up, robs ‘royal’: Police are looking three unidentified persons for assaulting an unidentified teenager from the ruling family, reports Al-Jareedah daily. According to a security source the incident took place when the teenager went to visit a female friend whom he met while chatting on the Internet. The friend reportedly told the youth he could have fun with her because her father was at work and was not expected to return soon. The victim said as soon as he arrived at the place, the trio pounced on him, beat him and stole his money, cell phones and other possession including a watch worth KD 1,000. Police believe the suspects imitating a female voice lured the youth to Sulaibiya.

Hmmm. I just can't find the words.

Revenge of jealous ex-spouse: Police have registered a case against an unidentified Kuwaiti man who is in 40s for making a hoax call and disturbing police, reports Arrouiah daily.
According to a security source the man called police and reported seeing his wife in the company of a stranger inside a car and also gave police the car plate number. When police stopped a couple driving along a road bearing the number plate given by the complainant, securitymen discovered the woman is the man’s ex-wife and the other man accompanying his ex-wife was her new husband.

What a fucking moron.

Sex-boosting items seized: Customs officers at the Khubara Al-Awazem border post recently foiled an attempt by an unidentified trucker coming from Iraq to smuggle sex boosting products into the country, reports Al-Qabas daily. A police source said the suspect is Georgian and looked confused when he approached the inspection desk. Inspectors thoroughly searched the man and seized the contraband from his clothes.

Well if he had fucking sex-boosting items up his ass, he would look confused wouldn't he?

The "Krazzy" 4

2008-04-20T15:17:00.002+03:00

Check this shit out...

Juba -Arabic Juba is a name of a small town in Somalia and passes thru it a river has the same name of this town. This river floods the town with water once in awhile which it causes the crocodiles to attack the town people and eat many humans which to the point it became as ritual. Yousef is an African champion in shooting and he a reporter at the percent where he was in the same time long time ago with peace keeping forces, and he made many friends back then. Now peace keeping forces are gathering again to keep the peace in Juba once again.

Krazzy 4 -Hindi Its a mad, mad, mad world out there. Someones nutty about money ... Someones deranged by power... Someones cracked with stress... Someones unhinged by overwork... Someones insanely in love.... Its a mad, mad, mad world out there, and everybodys worried theyre going bananas.... Except the Krazzy 4. Because they know theyre already Krazzy!

Someone needs to be shot and/or maimed.

Mulla -Malayalam Dileep plays a very different title character, in a different get up and baldhead, in the movie. Scripted by Sindhuraj, the movie is about Mulla, the son of a worker in a criminals colony who is also a goonda.

What the fuck is a goonda?

http://webserver2.kncc.com/nowshowing.php

"An Unnatural State"

2008-04-16T22:13:00.003+03:00

Dear Readers,

I haven't added any reports from the Arab times recently, and for good reason. Simply put, there weren't any reports I deemed worthy of a posting. However, it seems that today, the idiots have come out in full force. It's like they're angry, like they think I've been ignoring them! Fret not, my morons. This post is dedicated to you.

Garden ‘lovers’ in custody: Criminal Investigations Department (CID) men arrested two Asian expatriates for committing an immoral act in a garden in Salmiya. According to sources, the CID men caught the Asians in an ‘unnatural’ state and referred them to authorities.

What, exactly, constituted an "unnatural state"? In an "unrelated incident"..

Homos put in solitary: Two Asian inmates, believed to be homosexuals and serving time at the Central Prison for an unidentified crime, have been punished by sending them into solitary confinement, reports Al-Watan daily. The inmates were caught committing an indecent act.

Firstly, if they are only "believed to be" homosexuals, then why does the title presume they are? And if they are indeed "homos", then surely that is the "unidentified crime" that they committed. In a garden, possibly. Also, I love the title of this next one.

'The money is mine’: A case has been filed against an unidentified female Kuwaiti bank employee for refusing to return KD 10,000 which had been mistakenly remitted to her bank account, reports Al-Rai daily. The daily did not give more details.

Loss shocks Saudi boy: An 11-year-old Saudi boy who fell ill after watching his favorite Saudi Arabian football club lose soccer game has been admitted to the Adan Hospital, reports Al-Qabas daily. It has been reported the boy is upset psychologically. The daily did not give more details.

It's just a game, moron.

Lord have mercy on our souls.

The Weekly Ten

2008-04-15T23:55:00.003+03:00

Dear Readers,

Sorry I haven't been updating the blog much recently - I've been busy engaging in drunken debauchery in Dubai. The worst part is, I missed the sorry excuse for a hurricane that we had a few days ago. Ho hum. Anyway, here's this week's ten:

Top 10 Excuses to give your boss if you are late for work

10 – "I was up all night puking – I had some bad take out".

Good for use at least once a month. Make sure you don't use it too often though, as you might tempt fate and actually get food poisoning.

9 – "My alarm didn't ring"

Use only once in your lifetime, if you are desperate. Using it more than once will result in your boss waking you up with a phone call every morning. Not good.

8 – "I thought it was the weekend"

Also only good for use once. You can't think it is the weekend everyday. Otherwise you would be a moron.

7 – "I was stuck in traffic"

A good excuse to use regularly, although if everyone else is in the office on time, then it will start to wear thin after the 5th time.

6 – "I had to go to the doctor"

Also good to use. But eventually you are going to have to claim on your medical insurance, and HR might do some checking on you. Use with caution.

5 – "My kid was sick"

Only use if you actually have children. And don't use it often, unless the baby is a toddler, in which case you have free reign to use it as many times as possible.

4 – "I had a meeting"

Only use if you can enlist your secretary as an accomplice to back the story up with your boss. The only problem is, your boss could end up calling the client. Use with caution.

3 – "I had a flat tire"

A good excuse to use, but not very often. Otherwise your boss will keep giving you crap about your piece of shit car. Don’t use this excuse if you are driving a company car. For obvious reasons.

2 – "I had a car accident"

Don't use this excuse unless you are willing to drive your car into a wall to prove you actually had an accident. Don't drive your car into the wall if you are driving a company car.

1 – "Family Emergency"

The best excuse of them all. The vaguer the better. That way you don't have to really lie. Sleep can be classed as an emergency, and of course, you are your own family.

Now Showing..

2008-04-12T16:26:00.003+03:00

Kashf Hesab The movies story revolve around a young engineer who lives his life in wired way and he is in love with a young lady (Suha), she works in criminal lab. One day he gets accused in a rapping a young girl (Deena), and he tries to proof that he is innocent.

The Weekly Ten

2008-04-10T13:20:00.002+03:00

Top 10 Tourist Attractions in Kuwait

10 – Beirut Street, Hawalli

Beautiful at any time of year, Beirut Street will provide visitors with an unforgettable experience. The perfect place to get pirated CD's, DVD's, and computer software. Is also aesthetically pleasing, with more misspelt synonyms for "computer" than you thought possible.

9 – The Marina Mall Safari

Take a seat on any one of the benches at Marina Mall and stare at the weird and wonderful creatures before you. An experience that will depress you, but ultimately leave you wanting to come back the next day.

8 – The Water Towers

While you can't really get to them on any road, the water towers on the 5th ring road (or any of the other water towers for that matter) will make you think you are on the set of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Take pictures, then discard them.

7 – Pepsi Street, Shuwaikh

Pepsi Street provides visitors with a unique and entertaining viewing experience. Marvel at the insanely stupid driving, the imbecile parking methods, and wonder how a 5 ton lorry can zigzag through traffic like that. Incredible.

6 – Entertainment City

Walk around the vast landscape and enjoy one of the 3 good working rides at this wonderful theme park. Enjoy a serene boat ride on the man-made Arabian canal, and wonder if you will die of some kind of weird amoeba if you fall in.

5 – The Tariq Rajab Museum

Um. This one is actually pretty good.

4 – The Scientific Centre

A state-of-the-art Aquarium. Make sure you go on feeding day, and hope the shark eats the guy who is feeding it.

3 – Kuwait Zoo

A great place to visit, sit back, and wonder how in God's name the animals are still alive.

2 – Souk Al Mubarakiya

An excellent market-type location where you can get authentic Kuwaiti stuff. And interesting strains of stomach viruses should you choose to eat in any one of the restaurants there.

1 – Kuwait Towers

I wish someone would clean them.

Got Debt?

2008-04-08T13:46:00.003+03:00

Screw credit cards and bank loans. Check this guy out:

Moroccan gets hefty loan waived by threatening to commit suicide: A Moroccan hotel employee threatened to commit suicide by throwing himself from the roof of the hotel in Messila Sunday.
Securitymen, firefighters and a medical emergency team rushed to the scene but failed to convince the man to get down. Finally, he said he wanted to meet the hotel’s manager, who then went to the roof of an adjoining building and after one-and-half hours of tense negotiations eventually persuaded the Moroccan to climb down. Sources say the Moroccan had borrowed heavily from the hotel and a bank. “The loans and family pressures led him to this step,” they added. The Moroccan was referred to Rumaithiya Police Station and a case of attempted suicide was registered against him. The Hotel Manager is said to have waived off the expatriate’s loan and accepted all his demands as a goodwill gesture towards the employee and his family.

It's like a fucking scene from "The Negotiator".

"Arab Times Sans Brains"

2008-04-07T12:14:00.003+03:00

I really think that they realize how dumb they are, which is why they try to come up with creative titles. It's a shame the titles make them look even dumber:

‘Raid sans warrant’: Three Kuwaiti women filed a complaint at Kaifan Police Station accusing securitymen of raiding their house without a warrant, reports Al-Seyassah daily.
Allegedly, securitymen were searching for the husband of one of the women who is wanted for a crime. The women said securitymen raided the house after midnight without possessing a search and arrest warrant.

And, seriously, what the fuck is this all about?

Missile found in desert: Explosives experts from the Military Engineering Department successfully detonated a missile found recently on a road in Abdaly. According to security sources, Jahra Security Directorate received information about a strange object in the desert, about five kilometers from the main road. Securitymen rushed to the location and found the object was a missile so they called the explosives experts, who safely detonated the missile.

http://www.arabtimesonline.com/kuwaitcrime/innerpages.asp?cid=22

The Return of Cinescape

2008-04-06T13:38:00.002+03:00

Dear Readers,

You'd think they'd have hired decent writers by now. And by decent, I mean not monkeys.

Mafesh Gher Keda "Nahed" (Nabila Ebeid) as the Greedy Mother fight over "Dina" (Arwa) the innocent talent who falls in love with "Nader" (Khaled Abol Naga) as a Music Talent Hunter & Famous icon/Director & shatters her Family apart when she becomes a big success.

"Morons".

One Two Three -Hindi Diamonds worth Rs.100 million are stolen from a dangerous don, Papa and the precious stones accidentally fall in the hands of Chandu and Chandni, who quickly hide them in a car. Papa and his idiotic henchmen Albert and Pinto are desperately hunting for the diamonds while hot-headed police officer Mayavati Chautala wants to nab criminals.

I really don't think its the henchmen who are idiotic.

You make us proud, boys.

2008-04-05T17:56:00.002+03:00

What the fuck is wrong with these people?

Microscopic Penis Syndrome.

It's all in the mix.

2008-04-04T04:05:00.004+03:00

Dear Readers,

Today I have some of the strangest, worst written, and most disturbing stories in quite a while. Enjoy!

Arab Doctor ‘bites’ waiting patient
Kuwait : A Kuwaiti man, whose identity has not been given, has filed a complaint with the police accusing an Arab doctor working at the Al-Qasr Polyclinic of biting his left arm over an argument, reports Al-Rai daily. In his complaint to the police the victim said he was annoyed when the doctor kept talking on his cell phone and showed disregard to the patients who have been waiting for a long time. The complainant has submitted a medical report showing traces of the bite on his arm.

He fucking bit the guy? What the fuck? Why would he bite him? A punch, a kick, even a slap would have sufficed. But a bite?

Cabbie molests Arab woman: Police are looking for the driver of a roaming taxi for molesting an Arab woman in Sabah Al-Nasser, reports Al-Rai daily. The woman in her complaint told the police the man touched her private parts and said he does not want money but was glad to accept the fare of driving her home in kind.

Ok, so firstly. A "Roaming" taxi? As opposed to what, a stationary one? Secondly, what does "was glad to accept the fare of driving her home in kind" mean? What the fuck is the writer on about?

Iraqi ‘sorceress’ arrested: Customs officers at the Abdali border post have arrested an elderly Iraqi woman for attempting to bring into Kuwait sorcery tools. The tools were found hidden inside a specially made belt, reports Arrouiah daily. According to a security source the suspect looked confused when she approached the inspection desk. Moreover, the inspectors also saw her wearing a belt which did not go well with her dress.

Are customs officers now moonlighting as fashion police? And what the fuck are sorcery tools?

http://www.arabtimesonline.com/kuwaitcrime/

The Weekly Ten

2008-04-02T22:49:00.002+03:00

Ten Tips on Driving Etiquette in Kuwait.

1 – Do not drive in the far left lane of the highway. If you do choose to drive in this lane, you must travel at a minimum speed of 200 Km/h. The objective of driving in the far left lane is to leave as little room as possible between you and the car ahead. If they do not move to the adjacent lane, flash them with your high beam.

2 – Do not be fooled by the name or the sign: Dual use lanes (Designated to go straight and left) are for single use only, usually straight. Attempting to use the lane to go left will cause a hold-up in traffic.

3 – Drive by accidents as slowly as possible. Take into consideration the fact that the cars in the traffic jam behind you must also take time to stare.

4 – If there is a queue at the U-Turn ahead of you, be an upstanding citizen and drive past the queuing cars to create a second U-Turn lane. Make sure you give a signal.

5 – Maps of the locations of speed cameras are available online. These maps will also show you the locations of the cameras that do not function. Make sure you slow down as you approach a functioning camera, but continue driving like a maniac after you have passed it.

6 – Bonus points are given for creative accidents. Wrapping your car around a lamp post usually scores the highest. Your ruined car will usually be left on the side-walk for 5 – 10 days to give the judges a chance to see.

7 – Ignore people attempting to cross the road, especially at Zebra Crossings. Beep if they do not comply.

8 – Parking at yellow and black curbs is ok, as long as you leave your emergency flasher on.

9 - If you see a friend in a neighboring car, drive adjacent to them at 20 km/h, roll your windows down, and catch up on old times.

10 – If you see a pretty girl in a neighboring car, ask for her number. If she says no, follow her home.

Facebook Scares Me.

2008-04-02T14:51:00.005+03:00

Dear Readers,

As you may or may not know, a couple of days ago I created a group for my blog on Facebook. I'll be honest - I wanted to get the word out and have more clicks, more visitors, all things that would ultimately bring me at least a couple of steps closer to my goal of ruling the world.

Joke.

Anyway. So I create the group, and invite my friends, and hit F5 every couple of hours (or minutes) to see how many new members join, how many people have been directed to the blog. Yes, I'm pretty sad. Then, all of a sudden, I see some girl (who claims to be Kuwaiti) without a profile picture has joined the group, and starts to curse at me in one wall post after another for apparently being "a jordanian-palestinian piece of shit" who is "ungrateful and doesn't deserve to live in Kuwait".

She went on and on. Meanwhile, I replied to her wall posting saying, respectfully, that she was entitled to her own opinion, but that there was no need for her to be rude. The blog is not meant to offend anyone - unless you work at the Arab Times or write for Cinescape, in which case my advice to you would be to take some English classes.

Seriously though, read through my blog, and you'll find that not once do I insult Kuwait, Kuwaiti culture, or anything of the sort. In fact, when the infamous Kuwait Times Article bashing Kuwait was published (albeit indirectly and under a supposedly honorable pretense), I wrote a letter to the Kuwait Times and defended the country.

Anyway, so I proceeded to kick her out of the group and ban her permanently. Little did I know, she'd created a topic on the Kuwait Network page (gasp!) bashing me, my group, and the blog. Of course, the rest of the network decided to join her in the cursing, mainly because they have no idea what the blog is about, least of all the fact that it DOES NOT OFFEND THIS COUNTRY.

So I click on her profile, and find that she only has one friend. Obviously, this led me to believe that this was a fake profile, probably someone I've pissed off in the past or something. So I report her to Facebook, and tell them about the blog, that it doesn't offend anyone, and that this person is cursing and bashing me for no good reason.

Within 10 minutes, her profile was deleted, as was the topic on the Network.

10 minutes.

Can you believe that?

The Quack Doctor

2008-04-01T19:25:00.002+03:00

Dear Readers,

Funny ass shit:

Fake doctor held after 5 yrs: Acting on information and armed with a search and arrest warrant, securitymen raided an apartment in Hawalli and arrested a quack doctor, a Jordanian identified as A.H, reports Al-Qabas daily. Police confiscated an unspecified quantity of medicines and a forged certificate from the quack doctor and referred him to authorities. The Jordanian admitted that he was illegally practicing medicine for the last five years and even performed many operations.

Firstly, what the fuck is a "quack doctor"? Ok, I know what it means, but who uses that term anyway? Francis Clifford Cardozo, are you teasing me?
And how in God's name did he manage to "perform many operations"?

The ‘hysterical’ maid: Police rushed to Jahra after a GCC national called them saying his housemaid was behaving hysterically, threatening the family, knocking doors and causing disturbance, reports Al-Rai daily. Policemen took the maid to a police station where during interrogations she admitted that she was pretending to be suffering from psychological problems.

So she googled "psychological problems" and came up with "behaving hysterically, threatening the family, knocking doors and causing disturbance".

Beggar flees detention fear: In a funny incident, an elderly woman who was begging in front of the office of Minister of Social Affairs and Labor ran away on foot when an employee told her about the office, reports Al-Anba daily.

You stupid bitch.

Al Sabahiya Block 2 Presents..

2008-03-31T01:17:00.003+03:00

Love the titles. Love the cameo by the barber shop. Love the music.

Fucking Idiots.

Cinescape Strikes Again..

2008-03-29T19:48:00.005+03:00

Dear Readers,

By now I'm sure you're used to the idiocies that come out of our friends at Cinescape. But the verbal insanity has reached a new level, as we can see from the latest offerings on their "Now Showing" page. It gives me no pleasure whatsoever to present the following:

45 Days The movie story revolves around Ahmad when one day he finds himself getting accused of his parents murder then he sent for psychiatric evaluation in a psychotic hospital for 45 days. While he was in the hospital the real story gets unveil when the real killer is the father when he suspected his wife in a relation with some one, so Ahmad said he is the killer to protect his mother image in front of his sister. The truth saves Ahmad from getting executed.

Asides from having the longest sentence in history, this synopsis makes absolutely no sense. Also, it seems that they have given the movie's ending away. I don't get it, do they want people to come and see the film or not?

Ayazon The movie story revolves around a businessman who searches for his daughter which he missed to be part of her life because of the business that he is handling. Can he catch up with all those missing years and be part of her life again?

Absolutely no comment. None.

Race -Hindi Ranvir and Rajiv are half brothers who own a huge stud farm in South Africa. Sophia is Ranvirs personal secretary. She loves her boss and Ranvir is totally unaware of her feeling. Shaina is an upcoming Indian model. Shaina loves Ranvir but through a twist of fate gets married to his brother Rajiv. In a weak moment Ranvir and Shaina come very close to each other , but when Rajiv starts suspecting his wife, all things break loose. A murder is committed, a contract killing is issued.

What the fuck?

http://webserver2.kncc.com/nowshowing.php

TOEFL Courses needed for Arab Times Staff.

2008-03-27T14:51:00.003+03:00

By far the dumbest and worst written article I have ever read in the Arab Times.
You be the judge:

Salmiya crimes taking on ‘Jleeb’ pattern: residents

KUWAIT CITY: Residents of Salmiya say the crime pattern in the area and Jleeb Al-Shyoukh is getting increasingly similar as criminals have now begun stealing cars amidst bag snatching incidents. Incidents of such nature were often reported in Jleeb Al-Shuyoukh in the recent times.
Last week, two car thefts were reported in Block 10, while a bag snatching case was reported near the Salmiya garden which is reportedly the meeting point of criminals even as some residents recalled seeing suspicious-looking elements loitering in the precinct of the garden.

Though no new cases have been reported since last Friday, when police swung into action and stepped up surveillance in the area, residents say they are skeptical that normalcy will return to the area anytime soon. Most of the thefts and bag snatching incidents have taken place in Block 10.
Residents said police patrols were seen cruising the streets of Salmiya on Friday and Saturday and were questioning people who were moving suspiciously in the area.

Last Wednesday, a Sri Lankan lady’s bag was snatched away by two Arab men, who came in a car. The lady was emerging out of a store after doing some purchases when a man occupying the passenger seat of the car stepped out and grabbed the bag and jumped into the moving car.
The source added that the lady tried to chase the criminals but lost her balance and fell to the ground. With this incident, the total number of bag snatching cases has risen to three. In the earlier cases both victims were Indians.

No breakthrough was achieved in both cases at the time going to the press. Residents are of the view that most cases go unreported as victims do not want to get involved in the lengthy process of investigation and lack of Arabic knowledge is believed to be another factor.
In another incident, a car of an Indian was stolen last Wednesday after he parked it on an open ground in Block 10, a source said.

A SUV belonging to another Indian was also stolen after the owner had parked it opposite his building. It may be recalled that car thefts were rampant in Jleeb Al-Shyoukh in the past two years with criminals often stealing the parts of the cars and abandoning them in deserted areas.
In an effort to counter the phenomenon, a large number of car owners had installed anti-theft alarms in their vehicles, and this practice seemingly helped to curb the problem.

By Francis A. Clifford Cardozo (AKA DUMBASS)
Arab Times Staff (AKA DUMBASSES)

http://www.arabtimesonline.com/client/pagesdetails.asp?nid=14430&ccid=9

The Weekly Ten

2008-03-26T10:50:00.004+03:00

Top 10 Ways to Meet Girls in Kuwait.

10 – MySpace.

To impress a girl on MySpace, you must come up with a kick ass nickname. Q8istud, q8lover, myheart4you, are all great examples. Write in really bad English, and use literal translations of Arabic poetry. Then wait for a reply. But don't hold your breath.

9 – Shopping Malls.

Make sure you frequent shopping malls, especially the food court sections. When you see a girl you like, follow her around and whistle. Make sure you hold your male friend's hand while you do this.

8 – Leave a note on her car.

Leaving a note on a girl's car is another excellent way to try and win her heart. Make sure you leave your name (or your MySpace nickname), e-mail address, and phone number. Also write something romantic, like "your face nice".

7 – Work out.

Join a low-key gym, and make sure you go at least once a day. Buy expired horse steroids, and watch your biceps grow! Girls like guys with hooves.

6 – Show off.

Park your car in the street outside the outdoor section of a coffee shop. Make sure you play your music really loud. Lean against the car and smoke a cigarette. Then wait for them to come running.

5 – Dial Random Phone Numbers.

Dial random phone numbers on your phone. If you manage to get ahold of a girl, sweet talk her. If she hangs up, call back every day.

4 – Buy a Motorbike.

Buy a Motorbike and drive at break-neck speeds on the Gulf Road. Make sure you wear a loose fitting T-shirt, so the wind reveals your beautifully hairy back. Do not wear a helmet, as that way she won't be able to see your face. If you do choose to wear a helmet, make sure you apply a "No Fear" sticker on it. Chicks dig those.

3 – Follow her home.

Nothing turns a girl on more than the prospect of having a guy following her home. While the reasons for this are not known, many scientists have speculated that it could be the rush of adrenaline the girl will get from fear of being molested.

2 – Facebook.

Browse the Kuwait network on Facebook. Message girls who you think are pretty, asking them to add you. If they don't, then ask them to marry you.

1 – Bluetooth.

Switch your Bluetooth on as soon as you leave the house. Make sure your nickname is appealing (a7ebbech and kuwaitsexyman are good examples). Once you find a girl, send her pornography.

What have I missed!!

2008-03-24T18:49:00.003+03:00

Dear Readers,

As you know, I've been out of the country for a couple of days. It seems the staff at the Arab times were saving their best (or worst, depending on which way you look at it) news for when they knew I couldn't blog!

Below are the things both you and I have missed. Try to restrain yourself:

Egyptian Boy ‘humiliated’: An 18-year-old Egyptian boy filed a complaint at Jleeb Al-Shuyoukh Police Station accusing a Customs inspector at the Kuwait International Airport of humiliating him and slapping him several times, reports Al-Watan daily. The complainant said he was shocked when the inspector took him to a special room and asked him to take off all his clothes for inspection. When the youth refused to oblige, the inspector allegedly started slapping him.

‘Rowdy’ woman: A Kuwaiti man filed a complaint against an elderly woman accusing her of breaking the window panes of his vehicle, reports Arrouiah daily. Allegedly, when the woman was summoned by police, she started verbally abusing policemen. A case has been registered against her for damaging the Kuwaiti man’s car and for insulting police.

Faithful shocked: A number of Western Christians, who attended Good Friday mass in churches in Sharq, were shocked to find traffic citations on the windscreen of their cars, reports Al-Seyassah daily. The citations were signed by a policeman named Abdulaziz. The daily regretted that the policeman did not take the holy occasion into consideration.

Love the writing. Just love it.

Send me home!: An unidentified hysterical man broke into the Egyptian embassy and pleaded officials to help him leave the country, reports Al-Watan daily. The knife wielding man threatened to kill himself and anyone who approached him. Police rushed to the place, managed to calm him and took him to the psychiatric hospital in presence of an embassy employee.

I guess Kuwait does get the best of us sometimes..

Ex-wife accused: A Kuwaiti man filed a complaint against his ex-wife accusing her of negligence in looking after their two-year-old daughter, reports Al-Watan daily. Reportedly, the girl suffered second-degree burns when hot water fell on her.

So the water just fell on her? From nowhere?

Classmate raped: Police are looking for two teenagers who allegedly kidnapped and raped their Kuwaiti classmate in Sabah Al-Salem area, reports Al-Seyassah daily. The duo allegedly bundled their friend into a vehicle, drove to a desert area and raped him.

Client, pimp held: Acting on information and armed with a search and arrest warrant, securitymen raided a number of vice dens in Farwaniya and arrested 15 Asian prostitutes, a pimp and a client and referred them to authorities, reports Al-Qabas daily.

This country confuses me.

Do they know they're idiots?

2008-03-19T15:29:00.002+03:00

Dear readers,

I am blogging from the airport at the moment, where for some strange reason I can write posts, but I can't actually view my blog. In fact, the Zajil connection is so temperamental that MSN won't connect, nor will it open gmail, or hotmail, or anything. But, surprise surprise, 2:48 a.m. works. What kind of Nazi bullshit is this?

Also, Smartlink can kiss my ass.

Anyway, I have a plane to catch. Don't miss me too much. And I bet you all the money in the world there will still be idiots to blog about by the time I get back!

Yep. We've all been there.

2008-03-19T00:37:00.010+03:00

Earlier this evening:

3 to 6 hours later:

Drunk Asian man found nude: Police have arrested an Asian man for consuming alcohol, reports Al-Watan daily. According to a security source the man was semi-naked lying next to a garbage container in Mangaf. Two Kuwaiti women who were passing by thought the man was dead and informed the police. However, some passersby and friends helped the drunkard to wear a pair of trousers before police arrived. According to a security source the man was so high on alcohol he did not know what he was doing.

The Headlines

2008-03-17T16:01:00.004+03:00

Oh Lord. The headlines. Please, someone say something. PLEASE!

Filipina back from the dead: A Filipino woman who was injured in a road accident on the Arabian Gulf Street has been admitted to a hospital, reports Arrouiah daily. The victim who works for a well-known hotel was on her way to a bus stop when a speeding Pakistani motorist hit her. It has been reported the victim’s heart stopped pumping and paramedics revived her with an electrical shock. The motorist has been referred to a police station.

What a morbid fucking headline.

UK, Kuwaiti families in sky-high brawl: The Kuwait International Airport police have referred two families - a British and a Kuwaiti - to the concerned authorities for fighting aboard a flight coming from London, reports Arrouiah daily. The daily did not give more details.

After such a sensational title (you know I love a good expat vs. kuwaiti gossip), the "daily did not give more details"? Seriously? Fuck the daily!

Daggers drawn over girl: A police lance corporal has filed a complaint with the Sabah Al-Salem Police Station accusing three men —including a first sergeant — of assaulting him, reports Al-Rai daily. According to the complainant the first sergeant pulled out a butcher’s knife and threatened to kill him. He added, some passersby intervened and saved the man’s life. The complainant said the incident took place when the first sergeant was harassing an unidentified Arab girl. When a Bedoun youth intervened the suspect took him to a police station and was beaten up. When the police officer on duty learned the truth he warned the first sergeant told him not to repeat the offence. The suspect thought it was the lance corporal who complained about him to the superior and picked up on him.

There are no daggers in this story. None at all.

Speaking of Jahra..

2008-03-17T00:53:00.000+03:00

Love the music.

Cross dressers & Gang wars: Jahra revamped

2008-03-16T13:55:00.004+03:00

You'd think the following reports would come out of, say, South Central LA...

Cross-dresser held: Jahra securitymen have arrested an unidentified non-Kuwaiti young man for cross dressing inside a famous commercial complex in Jahra. Security sources said police stopped the youth after noticing he was a man dressed like a woman. The youth tried to evade arrest but police overpowered him and referred him to the concerned authorities.

4 Suffer Knife wounds in Qasr gang war: A fight erupted between two groups of youths in Al-Qasr recently resulting in injuries to four of them. Immediately after receiving a call about the fight, police rushed to the location and referred the injured to Jahra Hospital. Security sources said the youths attacked each other with knives. Some of the youths managed to evade arrest while those who were apprehended were referred to the concerned authorities. A case was registered at Jahra Police Station and investigations are ongoing to determine the circumstances leading to the scuffle.

"Marginal Labor"

2008-03-15T15:36:00.003+03:00

The picture really says it all.

8 held for immoral acts in Khaitan: The Farwaniya security personnel recently raided three apartments in Khaitan and arrested eight Asians for committing immoral acts. A reliable source told the Arab Times the arrests came following an ongoing campaign by the security agencies from the Farwaniya governorate to rid the area of what the authorities call ‘marginal’ laborers.
The same source said the arrested persons have confessed to committing immoral crimes.

Although, I have to say that the guy in the back looks like he just happened to be wandering the corridors and found a good photo op...!

http://www.arabtimesonline.com/kuwaitcrime/pagesdetails.asp?nid=13776&ccid=22

Filipino assaulted over 100 fils coin by Indians and Bangladeshis: Police arrested nine Asians, including Indians and Bangladeshis, for allegedly assaulting a Filipino man in Sharq area, reports Al-Anba daily. Reportedly, the Filipino wanted to buy a bottle of water and gave a very damaged 100 fils coin to the Asians. When the Asians refused to accept the coin, the Filipino allegedly insisted on buying the water bottle with the same coin. Soon the disagreement developed into a major fight and the Filipino was at the receiving end of the blows. Police rushed to the scene, rescued the Filipino and arrested the Asians.

How the hell do you "badly damage" a 100 fils coin? Unless you're like David Blaine or something.

http://www.arabtimesonline.com/kuwaitcrime/pagesdetails.asp?nid=13778&ccid=22

Are you kidding me?

2008-03-14T13:16:00.002+03:00

Here's a quick synopsis from Cinescape. Let me know if you can make any sense of it.

Sunday -Hindi Sehars world turns up side down when she has noe clue about the missing Sunday of her life, which points to a possible violent attack on her. A.C.P Rajveer takes up the case to sort out the complicated and jumbled up threads of Sehars life. In the process of solving Sehars case it comes to light that on Sunday, different people interacted with her and amongst them, one could be the accused. While trying to solve the puzzle, Rajveer stumbles upon a murder case whose clues hold up Sehar to be the culprit. But she cannot remember anything.

http://webserver2.kncc.com/nowshowing.php

The Weekly Ten

2008-03-13T16:01:00.005+03:00

Dear Readers,

Seeing as my ego has been stroked over 930 times since I've started this blog (even though my F5 button is probably responsible for at least 200 "strokes" - pun intended), I've decided to start a weekly top 10 list entitled, you guessed it, "The Weekly Ten". Asides from the obvious, the purpose of these lists will be to, um, I don't know. I guess they have no purpose.

Anyway, here's numero uno:

Top 10 Things to do on a weekend in Kuwait

10 – Watch TV

Mankind's favorite pastime, the television has provided us with hours and hours of mind-numbing entertainment.

9 – "Gizzing".

Kuwait's favorite pastime, "Gizzing" involves driving up and down Gulf Road with your windows down, playing the latest in cab driver music/rap at full volume. Harassment of girls in neighboring vehicles optional.

8 – Watch a DVD.

While this is technically the same as watching TV, it still involves the exciting prospect of visiting one of the countless pirated DVD stores the country has to offer. Also involves the prospect of returning the DVDs to the countless pirated DVD stores the country has to offer, because the disc won't work/there are no subtitles/it is not the film you wanted/you keep seeing silhouettes of people walking across the screen and you wonder if it is part of the storyline.

7 – Go out to eat.

It's fair to say that restaurants are one of the better aspects of life in Kuwait. You can find culinary delights from all over the world. I should hope so.

6 – Stay in to eat.

Get this: we don't only have really good food here. The best part is, you can eat it all in the comfort of your own home, without moving a muscle! Well, you might have to move 3 or 4 while you're dialing the home delivery number. But rest assured, these are calories you can reimburse momentarily.

5 – Go Shopping.

Souk Sharq, Marina Mall, The Avenues, and Al Kout Mall are all great destinations for some quality shopping.

4 – Walk around Malls without actually doing ANY shopping.

Souk Sharq, Marina Mall, The Avenues, and Al Kout Mall are all great destinations for some quality walking around without any purpose. Before you go, you might want to pay a visit to your barber/hairdresser and instruct them to give you the worst possible hair style. Apply obscene amounts of make-up (if you are female). Holding hands with members of the same sex/harassing girls optional.

3 – Poke people on Facebook.

..and hope against all hope that "Angel Kuwait" really does look exactly like Cameron Diaz on the red carpet of the 2003 Academy Awards. And that she pokes you back.

2 – Go Bowling.

The bowling alleys in Kuwait provide some quality entertainment. If you go on a regular basis, you might actually get pretty good. Then you might end up wearing one of those wrist guard things. And then wonder how your life ended up this way.

1 – Travel.

Enough said.

Don't they deserve to die?

2008-03-12T12:49:00.002+03:00

I don't know if it's small penis syndrome, a lack of things to do, or sexual frustration, but what is it that makes these guys want to drive like total morons on the road?

I don't mean to sound like a bore, but its true - they endanger their own lives and the lives of other drivers, all under the auspices of the police. And they go and make videos and post their idiocy on YouTube!

I mean, you get moron drivers all around the world. And I've driven in the UK, Jordan, and other places. But I haven't seen anything even close to the insanity I see here.

What is wrong with this country?

"Enjoying" the stuff

2008-03-12T12:08:00.003+03:00

Indian steals telephone line: Police have arrested an Indian man for stealing a telephone line of a Kuwaiti subscriber and connecting it to a sophisticated device to make international calls, reports Al-Watan daily.
The suspect was arrested in the vicinity of a residential complex housing divorced women and widows in a suburb of Sabah Al-Salem.

They have complexes exclusively for divorced women and widows??
Asian female escapes rape: Police have arrested two Asians for attempting to break into an apartment of a female compatriot neighbor with the intention to rape her, reports Arrouiah daily.
When the woman felt the men were trying to creep into her apartment she called the Operations Department of the Ministry of Interior. The department dispatched a police patrol and caught the men.
At the time of the arrest the men were high on alcohol. During interrogation they told police about the plan to rape the woman.

You don't get "high" on Alcohol. You become a stumbling, mumbling, clumsy bastard. High people are mellow.. and probably can't even find their dicks let alone think about raping someone. And besides, what kind of morons would tell the police that they planned to rape someone?

And finally...

Kuwaitis held red handed taking drugs near a restaurant at the airport : Airport securitymen arrested two citizens who were caught red-handed taking drugs near a restaurant at the airport.
The securitymen reportedly became suspicious of their movements and began to observe them from a distance and rushed to get hold of them as soon they began to 'enjoy' the stuff.

So, if they hadn't "enjoyed" the stuff, would they have been caught? Are drugs only illegal in Kuwait ONLY if you "enjoy" them? I want to pull my hair out.

I couldn't resist.

2008-03-08T14:37:00.003+03:00

Our buddies at Cinescape have really outdone themselves this time. Check out the latest synopsis from their "Coming soon" section...

Al Shabah (Arabic) The movie’s story revolves around a young man, who suffers from amnesia, works hard to know the real him and to know more details about his past life, but he faces many problems which leads to cause him in homicide and the police is looking for him. Now, he tries to find the real killer with the help of his friend, but he comes to know there are many people support the real killer and protect him, and in the other hand there are people against the real killer. In all of this, this young man falls in love with a young lady and she stands by him till he proof he is innocent.

Roudram (Malayalam) Narendran is a daring Police Officer, who has always been keen on doing his duty, but is forced to make compromises due to all kinds of pressures. The enthusiasm that he had when he donned Khakhi for the first time gradually gets eroded and he is often reminded that as a Police Officer, there were a lot of limitations. Narendran is put in charge of a murder case. The usual pressures are there, but somehow he finds it in him to work against these pressures and do his duty the way he thinks is right.

I am your husband!

2008-03-01T18:43:00.003+03:00

Dear Peeps..

I am back after a well-deserved leave of absence during the awful excuse for a celebration (often referred to as National & Liberation Day)..

In any case, I checked the Arab Times website the minute I arrived and was pleased to find that this blog is far from ever becoming redundant.. and here is why:

Expat given electric shock: Two thieves gave an electric shock to an Arab expatriate and escaped with his wallet and car in Jleeb Al-Shuyoukh area.
Reportedly, the victim was taken by surprise when unidentified men approached him and asked him to hand over his car and wallet. When the man refused, the thieves allegedly gave him an electric shock using an electric device and escaped with the car and the victim’s wallet.
The man, after coming to his senses, filed a complaint at a police station and said he had KD 150 in his wallet.

An Arab man forced to sign promissory note: Kuwait : An Arab man has filed a complaint with the South Jahra Police Station accusing his sponsor of forcing him to sign on a blank promissory note after threatening to ‘blow’ his head with a revolver, reports Al-Rai daily.
The sponsor will be summoned for interrogation.
"Blow" his head with a revolver. I'm not sure the guy understood exactly what he was in for..

Police arrest 2 transvestites: Kuwait : Police have arrested two transvestites and four unidentified young men. They were caught inside a tent in Bneider, reports Al-Wasat daily.
The daily said the Operations Department of the Ministry of Interior acting on information from some campers in the area dispatched police to the area and arrested the suspects.
It has been reported when a police party raided the tent the suspects were giggling and having fun.
They have been referred to the concerned authorities.

And Finally...

I am your husband! Kuwait : Police are looking for an unidentified person for molesting a Kuwaiti woman inside a camp in Mina Abdullah, reports Al-Anba daily.
A police source said the woman was sleeping inside a tent and she screamed for help when she found a stranger sleeping next to her.
When the woman screamed for help the man reportedly tried to calm her down by saying he was her husband.
The intruder escaped on foot before help arrived. However, according to a police source the intruder is a friend of the woman's husband.

God help us all.

The titles get creative!

2008-02-20T21:33:00.002+03:00

Looks like the Arab Times staff are adding some "attitude" to their reports.. but as the titles below suggest, they're still dumbasses.

‘I don’t need no husband’ - Bedoun Woman runs away from house
Kuwait : Police have ‘arrested’ a Bedoun woman who was reported missing by her husband one month ago, reports Al-Rai daily. The woman who was found near the Palace of Justice told police she preferred to run away from the house because her husband pushed her into committing immoral acts.
She added her husband made her sign a promissory note for KD 10,000 before she escaped.

Was this woman black? And does she live in South Central LA? Ah don't need no husband! lol

You cannot hide it!: General Drug Control Department securitymen on Tuesday foiled the attempt of two Syrians to smuggle 10,000 ‘Coptagon’ pills into the country...

What a fucking stupid title for a report. "You cannot hide it!". Fools.

Rose … and a thank you
Kuwait : Police are looking for four unidentified persons for stealing KD 1,000 from a GCC man. The incident took place when the victim invited the men to visit his stable in Ahmadi, reports Alam Al-Yawm daily. In his complaint to the police the victim said the suspects without his knowledge broke the side glass of his vehicle and stole the money and a credit card. He added the thieves left behind a rose and a thank you note for his hospitality.

Words fail me.

http://www.arabtimesonline.com/kuwaitnews/pagesdetails.asp?nid=12592&ccid=22

"Hostrical" locations..

2008-02-18T21:50:00.004+03:00

Is "Lighted" even a word?

The Arab Times' "Classifieds" Section:

Lighted Party Fountain | Beverage & Drink Centerpiece Ideal for birthday parties, weddings, and other special events, this fountain holds up to 1 gallon of any favorite beverage and features a three-tier cascading tower. The unit pumps liquid from the lighted bottom bowl up to the top. The beverage then cascades back down in a waterfall effect from one tier to the next through holes around the outside of the bowls. This multi-tier fountain is so impressive you might have to remind your guests to stick their cup in to fill it—or they’ll just stand there hypnotized by the sight and sound of liquid cascading like a waterfall from one tier to the next. Pour up to 1 gal. of punch or other beverage into the main reservoir and watch as the liquid is pumped to the top then tumbles from tier to tier. Made of ornately molded clear plastic,. Perfect for parties and family get-togethers, the fountain comes with eight 8-oz. cups. Let the good times flow. PRICE / 22KD with delivery !

Bear in mind that you might have to "remind your guests to stick their cup in to fill it, because they'll be standing there hypnotized" at the plastic piece of crap in front of them.

And, I've never seen a longer sentence than the one below:

Playschool & Babysitting A well known Play School in Hawally, known for its Special Care and Love Teaching by Play-Way method Motherly attention and care We assure your child will be the shining star of tomorrow at Tiny Tots Nursery & Playgroup Baby sitting is also available with experienced lady. pls contact us on 7123283 or email us back

What the fuck is "Love teaching by play-way method"?

UMRAH SERVISING
ALL KINDS OF TRANSPORTAION ALL CATEGORIES OF HOTELS Makkah, Madinah, jeddah all hostrical islamic locations FOR GROUPS AND INDIVIDUALS

A good contact to have should you ever need to visit any "hostrical" islamic locations.

want, business partners in UMRAH ANY ONE WISH TO COOPERATE IN UMRAH PERFORMINC WORLD WIDE ARE MOST WELCOM, THROUGH GREAT AND CHEAP PACKAGES. INCLUDING VERY GOOD SERVICING MOH441@HOTMAIL.COM

Includes very good "Servicing"? What does that mean? Ummm...

http://www.arabtimesonline.com/client/classifiedsinnerpage.asp?offset=0&clid=10

There are no words.

2008-02-17T22:33:00.002+03:00

Schizo Kuwait.

Naked Ethiopian woman at Kuwait Towers held

Kuwait : Police have arrested an Ethiopian woman who allegedly stood naked under the Kuwait Towers and referred her to authorities for questioning, reports Al-Rai daily.

Pimp, prostitutes arrested: Acting on information and armed with a search and arrest warrant, securitymen raided a vice den in Salmiya and arrested six prostitutes and a transvestite pimp and referred them to authorities, reports Arrouiah daily.

Kuwaiti still at large in Mangaf ‘suicide-shooting’
Kuwait : Police are looking for a Kuwaiti man who shot in the air to escape from a building from which an Indonesian woman fell to her death in Mangaf, reports Al-Seyassah daily.
Earlier reports said the woman’s Indonesian husband, accompanied by the Kuwaiti man, burst into her apartment and fired five bullets from a Kalashinkov Thursday evening. The woman allegedly got terrified and jumped from the sixth floor apartment and died instantly. The woman’s husband was arrested but his Kuwaiti accomplice managed to flee by firing randomly in the air.
Al-Rai daily, however, gave a different version of the story saying the apartment was being used as a brothel and police arrested eight Asian men involved in the crime.Reportedly, four out of them admitted to breaking into the apartment in search of a Bangladeshi pimp.

Dog stuck in engine rescued: Firefighters rescued a dog which hid in the engine of a Kuwaiti woman’s car, reports Al-Watan daily.
The woman called the Operations Room of the Interior Ministry saying a dog was barking from the engine of her car. Firefighters rushed to the spot and managed to get the dog out.

http://www.arabtimesonline.com/kuwaitnews/pagesdetails.asp?nid=12409&ccid=22

"Mystery Shrouds Death"... Dum Dum Duuum..

2008-02-16T13:39:00.002+03:00

Where, exactly, is the mystery?

Mystery shrouds Indonesian woman’s death

Kuwait : An Indonesian woman fell to her death from the sixth floor of a building in Mangaf Thursday evening. The incident occurred after her compatriot husband, accompanied by a Kuwaiti man, burst into her apartment holding a Kalashnikov and threatened to kill her.

Where the hell do you get a machine gun, let alone a Kalashnikov, in Kuwait??

Securitymen, who rushed to the scene, arrested the Indonesian man but his Kuwaiti accomplice managed to escape before the arrival of securitymen. According to sources, the Indonesian man fired bullets at random, causing damage to some cars parked in front of the building.
According to eyewitnesses the death was instantaneous. They also said soon after the woman fell to the ground, some persons were seen driving in a Jeep shooting randomly in the air, reports Arrouiah daily.

What the hell?

And please explain to me how these reports are even newsworthy...

Domestic cat injures boy: A 7-year-old boy, who was attacked by a cat inside his home in Dasma, has been admitted to a hospital with scratches on his face, reports Al-Watan daily. According to a security source the injuries are serious and the boy began bleeding profusely after the attack.

This report, of course, was in the "Kuwait Crime" section of the paper. Does that mean the cat is going to be arrested?

Machine smoke scares Asian: Acting on information firemen rushed to an unidentified press establishment of the Press Street after an expatriate, whose identity has not been disclosed, called the Operations Department of the Ministry of Interior when he saw smoke coming from the roof of the building, reports Al-Wasat daily. When firemen reached the spot they discovered the smoke was coming from printing machines - which is a normal phenomenon.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..

http://www.arabtimesonline.com/kuwaitnews/pagesdetails.asp?nid=12359&ccid=22

Patriotism & Unity..

2008-02-16T13:26:00.003+03:00

Hala February Festival 2008 kicks off

Kuwait : The Ninth Hala February Festival started Friday with a big carnival along Salem Al-Mubarak street in Salmiya. A large number of state officials and public figures are taking part in the event which will last through March 15, chairman of the media committee of the festival Waleed Al-Saqabi told KUNA. 'This year celebrations feature various activities and programs that will please all participants across the country,' he pointed out. 'The festival is expected to attract several local, Arab and foreign musical bands and folklore troupes as well as representatives of major mass media, including numerous TV channels.

'The organizing committee of the festival is making its utmost to present the festival in the best form.
'Special care is given to the entertainment of children and families which reflects Kuwait's aspiration to be a tourist hub in the Arabian Gulf region,' Al-Saqabi noted. 'The activities of the festival highlight the national values and morals, such as patriotism and unity and seek to pass them on to children and future generations. The intensive participation in the festival reflects clear defiance to the current bad weather in Kuwait, Al-Saqabi added. (KUNA)

That's funny. When I was passing through Salmiya yesterday, I didn't see any activities, programs, Arab or foreign musical bands or folklore troupes, or mass media. I definitely didn't see and patriotism or unity. Unless you class hanging a Kuwait flag on your car while simultaneously spraying passing vehicles with foam patriotism. But hey, what do I know?

According to this article though, the encouragement of such behavior only means that it is an integral part of the national values and morals of the country. And, of course, people all over the world will want to flock to the newest tourism hub in the Arabian Gulf. No one would spray you in Dubai, the morons.

http://www.arabtimesonline.com/kuwaitnews/pagesdetails.asp?nid=12331&ccid=9

"Serpentine Queues"..

2008-02-16T13:19:00.004+03:00

Well, this post is just full of idiots..

Traffic signals to be synchronized

KUWAIT : The General Traffic Department at the Ministry of Interior has formulated a plan to synchronize all traffic signals in the country to reduce the number of road accidents, reports Al-Watan daily. Accordingly, if a driver passes through a green signal at one traffic signal, the next traffic signal will also be green by the time he reaches there.

No matter how fast he's driving? How the hell are they going to implement this? And if the signal's not green when you reach it, can you sue?

Sources say the plan will be implemented shortly in some streets which witness frequent traffic jams such as the Al-Balloshi Street, the intersection of Fahd Al-Salem Street in Salhiya and the intersections of Arabian Gulf Street.

In another development, the computer network at the Kuwait International Airport crashed Thursday, resulting in long serpentine queues at all entrance and exit counters. Sources say this is the third breakdown in a very short span of time.

So wait, the computer network crashing at the Airport is a "development"? And what the hell is a serpentine queue? Who the hell talks like that? And why would they add the network crash report to the traffic light one? Are they related at all?

http://www.arabtimesonline.com/kuwaitnews/pagesdetails.asp?nid=12333&ccid=9

Thieves..

2008-02-16T13:07:00.002+03:00

I stopped by Digits today (formerly known as Mac City, or iCity, or whatever) to buy a USB Dock Connector for my iPod. It's the cable that connects the iPod to a computer so you can sync your songs etc.

I was shocked to find that it costs KD 15. That's right. KD 15 for a lousy cable. What the hell?

KD 15 = Approximately 1/6 of the price of an iPod, 1/2 of the price of a small iPod (shuffle etc), a meal for one @ Gaucho Grill, a ticket on Jazeera Airways, 7 car washes at Dabboos, a week's worth of shopping at Sultan Center, a basic no-frills cellphone, a bed (or a couch) from IKEA, and the list goes on..

Or you could spend 15 KD on a cable.

A Side Note...

2008-02-15T21:59:00.002+03:00

The Hala Febrayir celebrations started in Salmiya today with a pathetic parade and the usual group of Neanderthals spraying people with that godawful foam.

The best part is, I got sworn at by a "munaqaba" (ninja, munaqqababe) because I beeped her as she was blocking me in the parking lot.

I'm not sure whether I should be amused or disturbed...

"The Cradle of Idiocy in the Gulf"

2008-02-15T13:13:00.002+03:00

The epitome of culture and sophistication within a society.

Sorcerers and the "shaky car patrol"

2008-02-14T14:12:00.002+03:00

'Sorceress' caught: Customs officials at Abdaly have arrested an Arab expatriate woman married to a Kuwaiti with items in her possession suspected to be used for magic and sorcery.
It was reported that the Customs officials suspected the woman when she was about to cross over to Kuwait and conducted a through search of her luggage. They found the aforementioned items in addition to drugs pills, which she claimed, were for her Kuwaiti husband.
The woman and the items were referred to the concerned authorities.

Did she have like a magic wand or something?

Drunkard held: The Northern Highway Patrol Team has arrested a Kuwaiti for consumption and possession of alcoholic beverages in Mutla'a area.
After noticing the shaky movements of a car while on routine duty, security sources said the team asked the driver to pull over. The team noticed the driver was intoxicated and found an undisclosed quantity of locally-brewed alcohol inside the car. The suspect and the contraband were referred to the concerned authorities.

In other news...

Semi-nude woman caught drinking: Patrolmen on routine duty along King Fahd Expressway recently arrested a 31-year-old Arab woman for consuming alcohol.
After noticing the unusual movement of a vehicle on the road, the patrolmen flagged the vehicle down and discovered the woman was drinking a glass of wine. Sources said the woman was clad in indecent clothes and she was referred to the concerned authorities for interrogation.

Hypocrisy 101

2008-02-14T14:03:00.006+03:00

Islamist MPs look to ban Valentine’s Day

KUWAIT (Agencies): A group of conservative Kuwaiti lawmakers who control a sizable bloc in the parliament are looking to amend the country’s legislation to prevent any commemoration of Valentine’s Day, parliamentarians said Wednesday. The Islamists believe such imported holidays are corrupting young Muslims and stripping this country of its Arab and Muslim identity. “We are now studying the necessary amendments that would ban celebrations contradicting Sharia (Islamic Law),” said parliamentarian Jamaan Al-Harbish, part of panel examining “alien phenomena” being embraced by Kuwaitis. Despite its Western origins, Valentine’s Day appears to have been embraced by Kuwaitis and red balloons can be found all over restaurants, flower shops and stores selling chocolates. Newspapers are filled with advertisements for jewelry and cakes in the shape of hearts.

“It is the responsibility of the state to stop such activities,” said lawmaker Walid Al-Tabtabaei, who chaired the meeting which was also attended by the representatives from the ministries of interior and trade. “They are aimed at making profit and destroying Kuwaiti society.” The bearded lawmaker said that the popular holiday encouraged illicit relationships between men and women and involves a culture of “kisses and unacceptable behavior.” Islamists are politically powerful in Kuwait and have passed laws segregating men and women in university classes and have imposed restrictions on public entertainment such as music concerts. Meanwhile, in Saudi Arabia, the feared religious police warned the kingdom’s residents Wednesday against marking the “atheist” occasion. The muttawa, as the police is called, issued its annual injunction against Valentine’s Day, saying Muslims should not congratulate each other on the occasion, nor eat, drink, sell or buy anything that relates to it.

“The (muttawa) will take all legal measures to preserve the (Muslim) ideology,” said a statement issued by the religious police. “The (muttawa) have orders to confiscate gifts and objects relating to this feast, and they have the power to take action against those selling them.” The statement did not spell out the measures the police will take against offenders, but each year, muttawa mobilize a few days before Feb 14, making rounds of gift and flower shops, confiscating all red and white items, including flowers. Aware of the ban, Saudis do their Valentine’s shopping weeks before the holiday. “We have not been selling red roses for a week and we will not bring in any until Valentine’s Day is over,” said Alan, a Filipino working at a flower shop in the Saudi capital, Riyadh.

He said a member of the religious police, visited the shop a week ago and ordered the florists not to display any red roses in the runup to Feb 14. At a gift shop in the city, a salesman said the Muttawa had told him to remove from the shelves any red-colour gifts symbolising the feast of love. “We also removed red gift boxes so as not to expose ourselves to punishment, which could be to close the shop and arrest staff,” said Mohammad Hassanein al-Hawari. “I don’t know why Islamists want to ban celebrations of Valentine’s Day... I don’t think marking Valentine’s Day violates Islamic teachings,” middle-aged Kuwaiti employee Mahmoud Ahmad told AFP as he chose a gift for his wife.

Hmmm.. "stripping the country of its Arab and Muslim identity"..

Of course, having the largest Burger King in the Middle East, driving American cars, and having two Starbucks across the street from each other are all clear indicators of the country's "Arab and Muslim identity" and not "alien phenomena". Why doesn't anyone ban them? Oh right, because they make money.

http://www.arabtimesonline.com/kuwaitnews/pagesdetails.asp?nid=12280&ccid=9

Idiots on the road..

2008-02-14T01:38:00.003+03:00

So these assholes film themselves while they're driving like morons? The "ASD" must stand for Assholic Sick Degenerates..

Well, at least the music is good. Wait, no it isn't. It's pretty gay.

Sergeant Sodomized, Kuwaiti sues gameshow..

2008-02-13T11:32:00.001+03:00

Its pretty funny that the Arab times have added a "Kuwait Crime" section to their website...

Sergeant sodomized : Police have arrested two persons for committing an indecent act inside their car which was parked in an open area behind a shopping mall in Jahra, reports Al-Rai daily.
A police source said an Arab youth was caught red-handed sodomizing a 48-year-old Kuwaiti sergeant working for the Ministry of Defence.

Kuwaiti loses case against MBC’s Qerdahi KUWAIT : The Civil Court of First Instance Tuesday dismissed a case filed by well-known Kuwaiti media man, Faisal Al-Duwaisan, against MBC producer George Qerdahi.
In his case papers Al-Duwaisan has requested the court to order Qerdahi to pay him KD 5,001 in temporary compensation for spoiling his chance to take part in the program ‘Who wins the million dollars’.
After the verdict was issued attorney Nawaf Sari who defends Qerdahi told the Arab Times the case has no legal basis. He added the plaintiff has failed to prove the basis on which the case is filed.
“If there is no evidence to prove your claim, your case is as good as it has not been filed,” said Sari. He added he had proved this point before the court while presenting his defense.
According to his lawsuit, Duwaisan claims he answered the question faster than another viewer but Qerdahi thought otherwise. He added his answer was right and accurate while the other viewer’s answer was wrong.

There's nowhere else in the world where someone would sue a game show! Kuwaitis, huh? :)

Drunken Teasing..

2008-02-12T16:13:00.000+03:00

Drunkard ‘teases’ ex-wife
Kuwait : Police arrested a Kuwaiti man for consuming alcohol, reports Al-Rai daily.
Reportedly, the man was so high on alcohol that when he spotted his ex-wife walking along a street in Khaitan, he approached her and emptied an alcohol bottle on her head. The drunkard was referred to authorities.

Where is the teasing, exactly?

Lovers fight over girl
Kuwait : Two youths had to be rushed to a hospital following a nasty fight between them at a well-known shopping complex in Salmiya, reports Awan daily.
Reportedly, their girlfriend was the main cause of the fight. Each of them believed that he was the sole lover of the girl but on discovering the unpleasant truth, they released their frustration on each other.

Drug overdose kills Kuwaiti: A 40-year-old Kuwaiti man, identified as M.R, died after consuming an overdose of drugs in Rabya, reports Al-Anba daily.
Reportedly, his compatriot friend was with him at the time of the incident.
A security source said a Kuwaiti youth called police saying his father called him to assist in dumping the dead body of the victim. The youth, however, refused and called police instead.
Police rushed to the place and found the body of the victim in the boot of the father’s car. The father has been referred to authorities for interrogation.

Police imposters kidnap 3 Asian women, dump 1 knowing Arabic

KUWAIT : Police are looking for three unidentified persons for impersonating police and kidnapping three Asian women, reports Al-Rai daily.
According to a security source, police rushed to Kabad when an unidentified person reported seeing an Asian woman on a road. Her condition was pathetic.
The police took the woman to a police station and during interrogation she informed police that she and two other women were kidnapped by ‘policemen’ who took them to an apartment in Hawalli.
However, when the men discovered that she understood Arabic and spoke in a Kuwaiti dialect, they drove her to Kabad and left her there.
Police are looking for the kidnappers and the two other women.

In other news, the journalists at the Kuwait Times and Arab Times newspapers in Kuwait were thrown into a massive pit in Salmiya and burned alive for their utter stupidity. Both newspapers refused to comment on this report...

:)

Cinescape Extravaganza

2008-02-12T16:12:00.000+03:00

Dear Readers,

It's time, once again, to visit the website of our dear friends at Cinescape and try to figure out what intoxicating narcotic they have taken in order to write their movie synopseees..

By the way, I've decided not to format this note as there are too many things to make fun of!

Aljazzera -Arabic

The movie story happens in one of the Egyptian villages where we meet the young man (Mansour) when he inherit form his father the power and the money, also drugs growing and trafficking in an island
full of his snipers. One day he falls in love with Kareemah. His life is not always the same and every day has a different story.

Code 36

A young lady Norhan works as an aerobics instructor, but one day a group of terrorist put mark on her to kill her for unclear and unknown reasons. The Egyptian official decided to have one of the special forces men to be as her personal bodyguard so they gave the task to (Shareef). Norhan faces many deadly incidents and Shareef where there to safe her and protect her, during that the love sparks between them.

Heya Fawdha

Hatem is police officer and handles this neighborhood with an iron hand. Every single one fears and hates him. Only Nour, a young woman, dares stand up to him. But Nour is secretly in love with Cherif, brilliant and uncorrupted deputy public prosecutor. Hatem comes between. He wants Nour for himself. He turns her life into a nightmare.

Welcome -Hindi

Uday, Majnu and Sikander are mobsters, and they are keen to get their sister Sanjana married into a respectable family. Uday, upon a chance meeting with a handsome bachelor, Rajiv, is convinced that he would be a perfect. However, Rajivs uncle, Dr. Ghunghroo does not approve of his nephews association with a dubious family. Sanjana, unaware of her brothers contrivances, meets Rajiv on a cruise and the two fall in love. She has the acceptance of Dr. Ghunghroo, who doesnt realize that she is the sister of the Mafia.

Don't believe me? See for yourself:

http://webserver2.kncc.com/nowshowing.php

Seeing red on roses?

2008-02-12T16:02:00.000+03:00

Seeing red on roses … Group warns on Valentine’s Day

KUWAIT : Thawabet Al Umma, an Islamic group, has condemned the celebration of Valentine’s Day and warned the media against misguiding Muslims by “glorifying such pagan practices.” The media is playing an important role in popularizing such celebrations and leading Islamic nations on the path of disbelief, the group added. “Such traditions are imported from the West, and people blindly follow them without looking into the good and bad aspects. Participating in such celebrations will tarnish the image of Islam.” In its statement, the group also mentioned that the Valentine’s Day is actually the commemoration of a Christian saint, which makes it a Christian festival, “and has red as its theme color.” This Western tradition has spread to many Muslim countries backed by the media including TV and radio, influencing people’s minds to accept it as normal, the group said. “Valentine’s Day corrupts and misguides the youths. The information ministers of all Muslim countries have the responsibility to ensure that this culture does not take root in their countries, as it can lead societies back to the pre-Islamic days of ignorance,” the group added.

As opposed to the post-Islamic days of wisdom in breast-feeding co-workers?

Meanwhile, Saudi Arabia’s religious police have banned red roses ahead of Valentine’s Day, forcing couples in the conservative Muslim nation to think of new ways to show their love.
The Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice has ordered florists and gift shop owners in the capital Riyadh to remove any items coloured scarlet, which is widely seen as symbolising love, newspapers said. (So scarlet is bad, but regular red is ok?)
“They visited us last night,” the Saudi Gazette quoted an unidentified florist as saying.
It is not unusual for the Saudi vice squad to clamp down ahead of Valentine’s Day, which it sees as encouraging relations between men and women outside of wedlock, the newspaper said.
Saudi Arabia imposes an austere form of Sunni Islam which prevents unrelated men and women from mixing, bans women from driving and demands that women wear a headscarf and a cloak.
Relations outside marriage are strictly banned and punishable by law.

http://www.arabtimesonline.com/kuwaitnews/pagesdetails.asp?nid=12163&ccid=9

Forced out of hiding!

2007-09-13T16:14:00.000+03:00

Dear All,

I have not written an Idiots in Kuwait/Idiots in The World note for quite some time now.. but our friends at KNCC (Cinescape) have forced me out of hiding. I just couldn't resist. Below are some of the movie synopsis (synopsees? synopii?) from their "Now Playing" page. No bullshit, all true:

Khyana Mashrouaa (Egyptian Film)

The story of the film depends on the idea that the vast majority of people destitute and the rich alike - unlike brains of persons living in the central region, where provision is the reality of the people and different levels of physical conflict between these patterns. The movie, a number of interlocking relationships and events vary between betrayal and revenge Poverty, unemployment, corruption and the results of each of these crises on his.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? I'VE READ IT OVER AND OVER BUT I STILL CAN'T SEEM TO MAKE SENSE OF IT. PLEASE PEOPLE, HELP ME OUT HERE.

Omar Wa Salma (Egyptian Film)

It is love story about the naughty young man (omer) , who has many love incidents but always they are temporary because his desire for change , after that he meets (Salma) who changes his life and the events go on …

So wait. He is a naughty young man. He has many "love incidents". But "always they are temporary because his desire for change"?. What the fuck does that mean? Then he meets Salma, who happens to change his life. And the "events go on""?

Dhamaal (Hindi)

Dhamaal, as the name suggests, is a fun filled caper about four friends.......the final component of which is Mr. Scared of everything, Boman Contractor (Aashish Chowdhury), whose greatest fear is his father, Nari Contractor (Asrani).

Wait. Is their surname contractor?

http://www.cinescape.com.kw/nowshowing.php

Joke Kidnappings..

2007-06-08T16:22:00.000+03:00

People are getting paranoid...

Mistaken for kidnap: A Kuwaiti woman recently called the Operations Department of the Interior Ministry when she saw an unidentified person forcing a girl into his vehicle, reports Al-Watan daily.
The woman thought the man was a kidnapper, however, when police rushed to the spot and forced the man to pull over, they discovered it was the girl’s father who was annoyed when he saw his daughter walking home alone because he was late to pick her up. He abruptly forced her into the car and the woman thought he was kidnapping the girl.

Kidnapping just as a ‘joke’: An unidentified Kuwaiti woman called the police when she saw two youths forcing an unidentified female teenager into their car, reports Al-Watan daily. However, when the police confronted the youths, they denied the kidnapping charge and said they were merely ‘joking’. The daily did not give more details.

So they can get away with attempted kidnap by saying they were "only joking"?

Cheating for a ‘free’ trip: The Ministry of Health plans to refer a transaction regarding said to have been submitted to the Overseas Medical Treatment Department to the Public Prosecution, reports Al-Qabas daily. According to a knowledgeable ministry source, the documents are forgeries. The forgery was easily discovered because the date mentioned in the transaction is March 6, 2007, while the Council of Ministers had taken a decision to suspend all transactions on Dec 19, 2006.

Horribly written...

9 times deported, returns: Police have arrested a Sri Lankan man, identified only as Ramzi, for entering the country on a forged passport, reports Al-Rai daily. Surprisingly during interrogation police discovered the man had earlier been deported from the country nine times for committing various kinds of crimes and each time he allegedly entered the country using a forged passport. Police have also arrested another Sri Lankan, identified only as Haroun, for entering the country on a forged passport. The two forgers have been referred to the authorities.

I mean, you'd think he'd get the hint..!

Kuwaiti jailed for breaking red light: The Traffic Court has sentenced a Kuwaiti man to one month imprisonment and confiscated his driving license for a similar period for crossing the red traffic light and speeding, reports Al-Watan daily. The daily did not give more details.

Clearly an effort to show us that Kuwaitis are not above the law. You hear that, Muna? LOL...

Why I am an idiot in Kuwait.

2007-06-06T16:20:00.000+03:00

1 - Because two months ago, i put out a cigarette on my nose by mistake.

2 - Because last week, my car ran out of gas and stopped in the middle of the street.

3 - Because this morning, i kept forgetting that there was something wrong with my coffee cup, so i spilt coffee on my t-shirt 4 times in a row.

Beyond Stupidity: My Reply.

2007-06-04T16:19:00.000+03:00

Dear ****,

I am writing you in response to your article "What not to do in Kuwait", published on June 2nd.

I personally found this article to be EXTREMELY insulting, both to expatriates as well as locals. Your content has little factual basis, and your tone is extremely derogatory. I have read the article again and again, and i am astounded that the editorial staff at the Kuwait Times allowed you to publish it.
In summary, your article basically states that anything you do in Kuwait will either get you raped or deported. This is ludicrous!

Your "tips for survival", so to speak, paint expatriates as moronic individuals who have no common sense, and portrays Kuwait as a backward sex-crazed society. This is not so.

"Avoid the use of the term why? In your stay here in Kuwait, you will experience a lot of things that you could never imagine to experience."

Culture shock is a normal part of any expatriate's life, this is a given. Certainly, coming to Kuwait from a western society is a slightly more jarring experience than if the expat were to come from a neighboring Arab country. But the "use of the term why" is a necessary part of every society on the planet. All of us MUST question things in order to make our society a better and more comfortable place to live in, in all aspects of life. This must apply to expatriates as well, as they are an integral part of the society in Kuwait. While they may not have the power to vote, the alternative should not be "if you don't like it then get out". This is not a healthy attitude to have, and certainly not the government's stance.

"Avoid showing dissatisfaction about the country's work laws -- the country's regulations such as requirements of visa entry, or obtaining driving license, the corruption, the abuse of housemaids and etc. It implies that you do not appreciate how lucky you are for the gift of being in Kuwait and that you deserve to be deported or jailed for being ungrateful. "

Showing dissatisfaction to who?
It is true that there are certain procedures in Kuwait are difficult, such as visa requirements and driving licenses. This is also true of almost all Arab countries, and there is nothing we can do about it. Of course we will show dissatisfaction, it is only human nature. But to imply that we live in a country where we will be deported or jailed for being "ungrateful" is a joke, and most of all an insult to the Kuwaiti constitution and people. You imply that there are secret police lurking around street corners looking for people who show signs of "dissatisfaction" and "ungratefulness". We are not in Nazi Germany, nor in Communist Russia. Your claims are absurd!

"Avoid making complaints against your superiors. Your residency in Kuwait will be a threat if you complain or if you make fake cases such as a false absence report."

While this may have been true in certain instances, it is most definitely a generalization, and does not happen often.

"Avoid fighting with a Kuwaiti. He simply wouldn't hesitate to use any wasta to make you the wrong person of the dispute and make you take the blame. You might end up begging to him just to let you go!!!!"

"Avoid trusting any unbelievable Kuwaiti promises with quick wealth and success. Some Kuwaitis may use your daydreams as a tool to make some money by doing illicit activities. You would be the criminal, while he will be set free."

This point, i believe, is a grave insult to the Kuwaiti people. Again, it may be true in some instances, but it is certainly NOT what happens the majority of the time. It seems the recurring theme in your article is that Kuwaiti people are backward monsters whose only agenda is deporting expats and getting them into trouble! That is a disgraceful implication, and one that is not at all true.

"Avoid saying yes all the time especially when you do not want to. Although it shows the objectivity in ones personality, it doesn't make sense for someone to like everything he sees or hears with no reaction, especially in Kuwait. Always saying yes can lead to lots of problems such as sexual harassment or abuse or rape, this can even can encourage others to think you are weak and easy. This can cause real troubles for anyone specifically for women."

Words fail me when responding to this point. I do not see any meaning whatsoever in what you have written. Avoid saying "yes" all the time?
Human beings have opinions, likes and dislikes. I am pretty sure that no one wants to be raped. But i fail to see how saying "yes" all the time, unless you are some kind of machine, will lead you to be raped? The expatriate community are not idiots, Muna, and you cannot presume under ANY circumstances that they are. Your claims are unbelievably demeaning.

"Avoid starting friendly conversations with taxi drivers. This would give him the impression that you want him to have sex with you.."

"Avoid accepting gifts or laughing over sexual jokes with your boss unless it is really okay with you and this is what you want.."

"Avoid trying to look sexy by showing the sexiest parts of your body. You may think that you have a sexy body and want the world to see that because it is okay for you, but do not do that here. Lots of men here would think of you as a prostitute.."

While i understand the underlying message in your article, which is to give tips to expatriates so that they can avoid trouble, i think you have failed miserably. Again, i will tell you that you have painted expats as clueless, idiotic people with no common sense, the Kuwaiti people as sex-crazed monsters, and the country as some kind of backwards, lawless, dangerous, miserable place.
If I was a western expat new to Kuwait, having read your article, i would pack my bags and leave as it would seem that i would not be able to do anything without fear of being deported, jailed, raped or abused somehow.

I do not blame you for this article, but i blame the editorial staff for not guiding you properly while writing it. The result is that your article is the butt of many, many jokes across blogs in the country. And people are insulted.

I hope you acknowledge my comments as constructive criticism - i do appreciate your efforts in guiding the expatriate community in Kuwait, as guidance is indeed required, especially for the new ones. But your article was totally over the top, misguided, ripe for misinterpretation, and insulting to ALL members of society.

Beyond Stupidity.

2007-06-04T16:18:00.000+03:00

Below is an article from the Kuwait Times published on June 2nd. Words have failed me. Please read for yourself:

What not to do in Kuwait

Published Date: June 02, 2007

http://www.kuwaittimes.net/read_news.php?newsid=MTY0MTg5MDk2MA==

There are several things that every one must avoid to do while he/she lives in Kuwait. This rule is important to all expatriates, especially the ones who don't enjoy the blessing of having a 'wasta'. The aim of this rule is to spend your time here without thinking and feeling sorry for yourself of not to get sent to jail for being a fool. Most expatriates want to stay away from trouble but due to being ignorant about a few basic facts, it leads them to various unexpected conditions which make their period in Kuwait very miserable. Here are the things you must avoid:

Avoid the use of the term why? In your stay here in Kuwait, you will experience a lot of things that you could never imagine to experience. Thus, you start to think over and over again why? why not or why me and why is trouble always coming to you from all directions.

Avoid showing dissatisfaction about the country's work laws -- the country's regulations such as requirements of visa entry, or obtaining driving license, the corruption, the abuse of housemaids and etc. It implies that you do not appreciate how lucky you are for the gift of being in Kuwait and that you deserve to be deported or jailed for being ungrateful.

Avoid making complaints against your superiors. Your residency in Kuwait will be a threat if you complain or if you make fake cases such as a false absence report.

Avoid fighting with a Kuwaiti. He simply wouldn't hesitate to use any wasta to make you the wrong person of the dispute and make you take the blame. You might end up begging to him just to let you go!!!!

Avoid trusting any unbelievable Kuwaiti promises with quick wealth and success. Some Kuwaitis may use your daydreams as a tool to make some money by doing illicit activities. You would be the criminal, while he will be set free.

Avoid saying yes all the time especially when you do not want to. Although it shows the objectivity in ones personality, it doesn't make sense for someone to like everything he sees or hears with no reaction, especially in Kuwait. Always saying yes can lead to lots of problems such as sexual harassment or abuse or rape, this can even can encourage others to think you are weak and easy. This can cause real troubles for anyone specifically for women.

Avoid starting friendly conversations with taxi drivers. This would give him the impression that you want him to have sex with you and of course, he would ask you if you are married and if your husband is with you. Never admit to be single and alone or even to confess that you are a runaway maid or employee. Many of them would not hesitate to rape you and leave you empty handed and get you pregnant.

Avoid accepting gifts or laughing over sexual jokes with your boss unless it is really okay with you and this is what you want.If you came from an environment where you are very open with the opposite gender, then you might think that such jokes are okay but here, it is not. This would give men a hint that you are ready to have sex with him and you could find yourself a rape victim. Besides, accepting someone's gifts means approval.

Avoid trying to look sexy by showing the sexiest parts of your body. You may think that you have a sexy body and want the world to see that because it is okay for you, but do not do that here. Lots of men here would think of you as a prostitute and may try to reach or touch you by any means. You may not mean it but this would be hard to convince them because they came from a different culture. The culture here associates clothes with manners. The more you cover yourself, the more respected you will be.

This list can go on and can be virtually endless, but the main fact is that caution is essential because what might be very normal in your country would simply not be normal here. Think of all the options and do the opposite. This may ensure a longer stay in Kuwait with less headaches.

Watermelon Showdown..

2007-05-31T16:16:00.000+03:00

Fight over rotten watermelon: Several Egyptians from Upper Egypt were involved in a fight in Khaitan at a makeshift fruits and vegetable market, reports Al-Rai daily. It has been reported one of the customers bought a water melon and when the seller opened it the buyer discovered it was not ripe and refused to pay for it. Two groups of Egyptians pelted water melons and tomatoes at each other until some persons tried to solve the problem and both sides parted amicably. According to the daily several people called the police but no police vehicles were seen in the area.

Youth molests Kuwaiti girl: A Kuwaiti man recently seized an unidentified Egyptian youth and handed him over to police for allegedly attempting to molest a Kuwaiti girl in a public place, reports Al-Watan daily. It has been reported the girl screamed for help soon after she got down from her car in Hawalli when the man approached her with ‘bad intentions’. The daily did not give more details.

If he "attempted" to molest her, why does the headline presume he already has??

Cinescape have no shame..

2007-05-29T15:49:00.000+03:00

This edition of Idiots in Kuwait is dedicated to our dear friends over at KNCC (Kuwait National Cinema Company) for their admirable efforts in imitating the English language.. Below are the synopsis for Egyptian and Indian films in the "Now Showing" section of their website...

Fe Shaqah Masr Aljadeda

Music teacher (Najwa) lives in Elmania. She takes the opportunity while she is in Cairo in a field trip with students to search for her teacher (Tahani), who taught her music, and she thinks that she lives in a flat in town called New Egypt. Najwa’s trip becomes a nightmare, and her teacher flat that she found is different from what she expected. Can Najwa find Tahani? or she will find something else?

Life in a .... Metro -Hindi

Rahul works as a call centre executive and he silently loves his colleague Neha, because her boss, Ranjeet, loves her. Ranjeet is married to Shikha. They had decided that she should stay back at home and take care of the house and the kid. Shikha is attracted to Akash, theatre artist, whose wife divorces him. Akash and Shikhas love blossoms. Amol is a 70-year-old man who returns to India after 40 years to spend the last few years of his life with his first love, Vaijanti. The lady lives in an old age home and is Shikhas aunt. What will happen to these crossed lives?

Kya Love Story Hai -Hindi

is the story of a carefree and wayward youth, Arjun (Tusshar Kapoor), who experiences love-at-first-sight with Kaajal (Ayesha Takia). It isnt a typical meet-cute situation - he follows her for some time before breaking the ice.

What the hell is a meet-cute situation?

Ta Ra Rum Pum -Hindi

Rajveer is a pit-crew worker in a racing team with a passion for driving whom a team manager, Harry, discovers. The same day he accidentally meets a Radhika, who he falls for instantly. A few months later, both happily married. He becomes number 1 race driver and he has a boy amd a girl. But as a result of a bad-racing accident, Rajveer is hospitalized for a few months. When he tries to make a comeback, he realizes that he has been mentally scarred by the accident. The family struggles to survive a life that they are not used to, but an incident forces Rajveer to reclaim the life that was taken away from him.

The SMS Donkey

2007-05-29T15:47:00.000+03:00

Man, wife fight in public: In a strange incident a couple was involved in a ‘tug-of-war’ inside a car in the parking lot of the General Department for Nationality and Passports, reports Al-Anba daily. According to eyewitness reports the husband forced his wife out of the car and the latter in a fit of anger smashed the windshield and the rear glass of the vehicle. The problem was solved amicably with the help of police. The nationality of the couple has not been disclosed.

SMS to harass girl: Police have arrested an unidentified young Kuwaiti army man for harassing an unidentified girl by sending her SMS on her cell phone, reports Al-Watan daily. The girl in her complaint to police said she does not even know the youth and that he had been sending her indecent pictures on her cell phone. Police interrogations revealed the suspect was making random calls in an attempt to make friends with women. The youth is also said to have admitted to sending SMS. He also said he wanted to stop sending the messages when he knew the victim did not entertain him, but that he continued sending the messages because she called him a donkey. The daily did not give details about the indecent pictures.

"Hanged for fun"..

2007-05-26T15:51:00.000+03:00

Pay attention to the headlines.. and the awful, awful use of a language that vaguely resembles English...

Hanged for fun but revived: An 11-year old boy accidentally hanged himself when he was playing with his friends in Jahra on Wednesday. When the victim’s friends shouted for help, some passers-by rushed to the scene and took the boy to a nearby hospital. Although the boy was thought to be dead initially, doctors managed to revive him by giving him electric shock.

How the hell do you "accidentally" hang yourself?

Kuwaiti woman stolen: A Kuwaiti woman has filed a complaint with the police accusing unidentified persons of breaking into her home in Sabah Al-Salem and stealing nine expensive wrist watches, six cell phones and gold jewelry, reports Al-Watan daily. The woman told police she cannot determine the value of the stolen property. The theft took place when no one was in the home. Personnel from the Criminal Evidences Department have lifted the fingerprints to identify the culprit.

So, no one actually stole the woman?

Taxi driver faces deportation: An unidentified Asian taxi driver who has been accused of picking female students from various faculties and driving them to suspicious apartments is facing the prospect of being deported from the country, reports Al-Watan daily. According to the daily the man’s moves were monitored and was caught red-handed with students in the car. When asked where he was taking the girls, he fumbled and could not give a proper response. It has also been reported the man was carrying in his car women’s under clothes. He also had stored on his cell phone numbers of several women. Meanwhile, the Director of the Capital Security Directorate Brigadier Sabah Al-Mousa was quoted as saying the man must be deported from the country for involving in criminal activities.

Probably the most ridiculous story EVER..

I love this country!

2007-05-24T15:52:00.000+03:00

‘Cat meat’ sandwiches for sale: The Kuwait Municipality has closed down an unidentified well-known restaurant (Actually "Farah") for selling meat sandwiches believed to be unfit for human consumption, reports Al-Rai daily. The daily quoting a security source said it has been widely rumored the restaurant was using the meat of street cats together with chicken and beef to make the sandwiches. The same source said the concerned authorities put the restaurant under surveillance after several customers complained about the meat the restaurant used for sandwiches and shut down the premises. However, fears abound the restaurant might open for business due to the intervention of influential people.. Dum dum duuuum!

Scrapyard bomb hurts 4: Four men — two Afghans, a Pakistani and a Bangladeshi — have been admitted to a hospital with various injuries, reports Al-Watan daily. The daily quoting a security source said the men were injured when a bomb went off inside the Amghara Scrapyard. The same source said the Pakistani and the Bangladeshi had gone to buy some scrap metal and when the duo saw the Afghan selling them a bomb, the Bangladeshi drew the attention of the seller. The Afghan to prove it was not a bomb dropped it in front of the two men the device exploded injuring the three men. Another Afghan who was in the vicinity was also injured by the flying shrapnel. Police are investigation from where the man got the bomb.

‘Song’ and ‘dance’ under probe: Ahmadi Governor Sheikh Dr Ibrahim Al-Duaij has ordered an investigation to know who ordered a song “I love you donkey” to be played during a celebration at one of the schools in the governorate which was under his sponsorship, reports Al-Seyassah daily. It has been reported the song was played after the governor left. It has also been reported the Director-General of the Ahmadi Educational Directorate has summoned the supervisor of the Physical Education Department to enquire about the incident and a dance performance by female teachers. Knowledgeable sources have expressed surprise that no action was taken at the time although teachers had clips of what was going there and spread them via cell phones.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.. I love this country!!

Define "Fun"..

2007-05-21T15:54:00.000+03:00

Having been writing these notes for some time now, i am still not sure as to who are the bigger idiots, the writers at the Arab Times, or the people featuring in their stories? You decide...

Woman loses ‘fun’ money: An unidentified young Arab woman has been detained by police for drinking alcohol, reports Al-Watan daily. It has been reported the ‘drunkard’ went to a police station to complain about an unidentified GCC man whom she accused of stealing her money and beating her. However, police detained her when they discovered she was under the influence of alcohol. During interrogation the woman admitted that she walked into the man’s apartment of her own free will to have ‘fun’ with the man after he promised to pay her what she called ‘her time’ but instead after having fun with her the man allegedly beat her and stole her money. The girl said she agreed to have pleasure with the man inside his apartment in Salmiya against a sum of money, however instead of paying her he started to beat her up and stole her money. No action has reportedly been taken against the GCC man.

Their use of quotations is worse than Joey's..

Grocer sets boy on fire: Police are waiting for a medical report to take action on an unidentified grocer who is said to have set on fire an Egyptian boy when the latter went to buy ice-cream, reports Al-Anba daily. According to the victim’s father the grocer poured inflammable substance on the boy and set fire to his son. It is not known why the grocer allegedly committed the act. The victim with burns on his hands, feet and head was rushed to a hospital by his father. No more details are available.

Girl lured into sex: Police have arrested a bedoun youth for having fun with a bedoun girl, reports Al-Rai daily. According to a complaint filed by the teenager’s family at a police station, the youth lured the victim to go to his home claiming he was a rich Kuwaiti man and that he would marry her. However, he took her to his home and allegedly had ‘fun’ with her. The girl was caught by police at her lover’s home. At the police station the girl’s family tried to get hold of the youth to teach him a lesson but police prevented the family from taking the law in their hands.

"I am a rich Kuwaiti Man, please have sex with me.."
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....

From the pan into the fire!

2007-05-16T15:59:00.000+03:00

I love how the Arab Times staff are starting to get creative with their headlines.. check out the last two! LOL

Drunk shoots at passersby: Ahmadi securitymen have arrested a 23-year-old Saudi man, identified as Saeed A., who was firing Kalashnikov at passersby in Reggae. After receiving call from a Kuwaiti about the shooting, securitymen rushed to the scene and found that the man was under the influence of alcohol.

Wife beaten for visiting kin: An Arab woman has filed a case with the police accusing her husband of assaulting her, reports Al-Watan daily. It has been reported the husband had warned his wife not to visit her family and told her to cut off all relationship. Since her son lives with the family she visited and when the husband learned she had gone to visit her family he beat her. The victim has submitted a medical report to substantiate her claim.

From pan into the fire: A Bangladeshi man who was rushed to the intensive care unit of the Jahra Hospital after he was knocked down by a bull, is facing deportation after his discharge from hospital because authorities discovered he was a violator of a residence law, reports Al-Anba. According a security source the victim was brought to the hospital with fractures and bruises on his body. He was allegedly attacked by a bull on a farm belonging to a Kuwaiti man. Initial investigations showed the man was a runaway and his original employer had a filed a missing persons report against him at a police station. Director of Jahra Security directorate Brigadier Dr Mustafa Al-Zabi prepared a report against the Bangladeshi man and the Kuwaiti who employed him on his farm will be summoned for interrogation.

This next headline has absolutely nothing to do with the actual story...

Anything and everything:Three Bangladeshis have been detained for interrogation for stealing car number plates in a suburb of Mahboula, reports Al-Anba daily. The men were caught in the act by a roving police patrol. Police arrested the men and seized from them three number plates.

Boiling Milk Free-for-all!

2007-05-12T16:01:00.000+03:00

Things that make me want to pull out my hair follicle by follicle with a tweezer...

2 bootleggers held: Police have arrested two Kuwaitis for bootlegging, reports Al-Rai daily. The daily quoting a security source said police acting on information raided the man’s apartment and seized the liquor manufacturing equipment in addition to a quantity of liquor ready for sale. During interrogation the men admitted to the charge and said they ‘earned’ KD 1,000 a month from their illegal trade. The men have been referred to the Anti-narcotics department.

Narcotics?

Daughter-in-law beaten: Police are looking for a mother-in-law for beating her daughter-in-law and pouring on her boiling milk, reports Al-Watan daily. Police are also looking for the victim’s two sisters-in-law, who are believed to have helped their mother to beat the victim. According to a complaint filed by the victim’s bedoun brother, his sister is suffering from fractures and second degree burns. The daily added the victim was beaten due to misunderstanding in the family. The incident took place in Taima.

Syrians in free-for-all: Two groups of Syrians (14 persons) were involved in a free-for-all at an unidentified location on the Sixth Ring Road, reports Al-Rai daily. It has been reported both sides were armed with knives and sharp objects and the fight was over a family dispute, says the daily. The daily added both families live in Sulaibiya and that they had decided to meet on a road to settle the matter.The injured were rushed to a hospital. Police are investigating the incident.

What the hell is a "free-for-all"? Who uses this kind of language?!?!

Shocking.

2007-05-03T15:39:00.000+03:00

Are you surprised?

Kuwait ranks third in accident deaths

"Kuwait ranks third in the world in the number of deaths caused due to road accidents and statistics show that an average of 124 accidents take place every day in the country," Al-Watan daily quoted Chairman of Traffic Safety Society and Member of High Council for Traffic Bader Al-Matar as saying.
Speaking at a press conference held at the Council Center in Al-Shuwaikh Tuesday, Al-Matar said a total of 45,376 accidents took place in 2003, averaging 124 accidents per day and killing 372 people. "In 2004, 55,000 traffic accidents took place and caused death of 400 people," he said, adding 32.5 percent cases were reported in Capital Governorate, followed by Hawalli with 27 percent accidents.
In 2005, 57,000 traffic accidents were reported, out of which 30 percent were reported in Capital Governorate, followed by Hawalli with 25 percent. As many as 455 people died in road accidents in 2005.
During the conference, he announced that Kuwait will host an international conference 'Traffic in Kuwait and Modern Issues' under the patronage of HH the Prime Minister Sheikh Nasser Mohammed Al-Ahmed Al-Sabah from May 12-14, 2007.
The conference coincides with United Nations First Week of Roads Safety, indicating the Traffic Safety Society is in touch with United Nations Development Program (UNDP) in this regard.
Professors from various universities will talk about traffic problems and their possible solutions during the conference.

Meanwhile, Secretary-General of the Higher0 Council for Traffic Brigadier Abdullah Al-Turaihi announced the inauguration of the council's library. Studies on traffic issues and researches will be available for everybody during morning hours in the library.

New Lows..

2007-05-02T15:41:00.000+03:00

This Story makes no sense...

Finger points at mother: Police are interrogating the mother in the mysterious death of her nine-year-old bedoun daughter who was found tortured to death inside her home in Sulaibiya, reports Al-Watan daily. Although the mother claimed it is her 13-year-old son who hit the victim with a hard object, the boy told police the mother pointed a finger of accusation at the mother. He also told police the mother requested him to help her beat the girl. The boy added his mother became angry because his late sister wanted to live with the grandmother so the mother beat the girl ‘mercilessly’ until she fell unconscious. The mother then dragged the victim to a cold water tap and poured water on her but all her efforts to revive her daughter proved in vain. When she discovered the girl had died, she told the boy to keep mum and also hid the object with which she hit the girl. The mother also allegedly told the boy to convince his younger sister — age not known — to take the blame on her thinking the harsh punishment could be avoided. The uncle of the girl has told police to thoroughly investigate the matter given the suspect’s earlier convictions. Another daily had said the woman was earlier convicted of killing her maid. However, the disturbing information is still baffling securitymen who are on the trail of the killer. Earlier it was also reported the woman had allegedly killed her two sons. One was apparently murdered in Saudi Arabia and the other in Kuwait. Although she claimed her son fell to her death in Kuwait, she was convicted of murder and put behind bars for seven years.According to some sources, on several occasions the victim arrived at the school with torture marks on her body and when the school administration demanded to know who was behind it, the girl refused to talk.

In other "news"..

Furious lover in shooting: Police are looking for an unidentified Kuwaiti man for allegedly firing four shots at the home of an unidentified compatriot in Ahmadi, reports Al-Rai daily. The suspect allegedly was in love with the daughter of the owner of the house and when she turned down his advances, he allegedly lost his temper and in revenge fired shots at the house. Two weeks ago the man had been arrested and released with a warning for pelting stones at the house. He had allegedly signed a pledge of good conduct and promised not to repeat the offence.

Help find my dog!: A female US citizen has sought the help of the Salwa police to help her find her missing dog, reports Al-Rai daily. It has been reported the woman got up in the morning and found her dog missing. She looked around and called the dog by name several times but there was no response from her four-legged friend.

‘Rapist’ gets a kick: Police are looking for an Egyptian man for attempting to rape a 20-year-old bedoun woman, reports Al-Rai daily. The daily quoting a security source said the suspect followed the victim up to her car and she stepped inside he tried to get in after her and kissed her. The woman allegedly kicked the man and screamed for help and the man escaped among the shoppers.

Sensory Overload..

2007-04-30T15:42:00.000+03:00

These guys deserved a note of their own...

‘Immoral act in mosque’: Police have arrested an Asian man for committing an immoral act inside the bathroom of a mosque in Fahaheel, reports Al-Rai daily. It has been reported the man was arrested after two Egyptians who were working on the renovation of a mosque heard strange ‘sounds’ coming from the bathroom. They peeped inside and saw two Asian men in a compromising position. The man called the Operations Department of the Ministry of Interior and securitymen rushed to the spot and arrested one of the men while the other escaped.

Moronic Invalids.

2007-04-29T15:45:00.000+03:00

What follows is the exact transcript of a conversation that occurred less than 10 minutes ago between myself and the cashier at KFC. You be the judge:

KFC: Welcome to KFC sir, how can i help you?

Me: Can you tell me the difference between the chicken burger and the chicken fillet?

KFC: One is a burger and the other one is a fillet.

Me: Obviously. But what is the difference?

KFC: They are different meats sir but the same chicken.

Me: So there is no difference?

KFC: No sir.

Me: So are they both chicken?

KFC: Yes sir but it is a different meat.

Me: What do you mean by different meat?

KFC: They are both chicken.

Me: You don't know what the difference is, do you?

KFC: No sir.

COLOSSAL WASTE OF 2 MINUTES OF MY LIFE.

Rape, Rape, Rape..

2007-04-29T15:43:00.000+03:00

It makes me sad that RAPE is the most frequent crime here.. the following are excerpts from the Arab Times, all on the same day:

Filipina maid raped:
A Kuwaiti lady has filed a case at the Mahboula Police Station accusing two unidentified people of breaking into her house during her absence and raping her Filipina maid. According to the Filipina, one of the accused was wearing a dishdasha while the other was wearing shirt and trousers. Securtiymen have launched a manhunt for these two people.

Woman raped: Police have arrested two Bangladeshi men for holding an Indonesian woman captive inside an apartment in Salmiya and repeatedly raping her, reports Al-Qabas daily.
The daily quoting a security source said police acting on information raided the apartment, and set the woman free.
During interrogation the woman told police an unidentified man kidnapped her from Hawalli and sold her to the two men for KD 400. She also said the men, after using her were planning to push her into prostitution. The two suspects then led police to the man who had kidnapped and sold the woman to them. He was caught in Murgab.

Lebanese rapes maid: A Filipino maid has filed a case against a Lebanese man accusing him of raping her, reports Al-Rai daily. It has been reported the maid works for the suspect’s sister. However, taking advantage that the sister was not at home when he arrived he raped the maid. A complaint has been filed with the Jabriya Police Station.

Maid raped in basement: A Kuwaiti woman has filed a case with Fintas Police Station accusing an Egyptian man of raping her maid in the basement of the building, reports Al-Rai daily. It has been reported the complainant wanted to sell some of her furniture and the maid was asked to show the man the furniture. Seeing no one was around, the man forced the woman to the ground and raped her. When the maid screamed for help, the complainant bolted the basement door from the outside and called police.

There are no words..

2007-04-23T15:47:00.000+03:00

Ok, so below are two stories copied and pasted exactly as they were on www.arabtimesonline.com..
Pay close attention, and see if you can make the link...

Police probe ‘identical’ deaths: Police are investigating the mysterious death of two expatriates at two different locations. Both men have died in similar fashion. One of the victims is 18-year-old Iranian, identified only as A.H. and the other is Bangladeshi Shams, reports Al-Rai daily. The Iranian was found dead in a courtyard of a building in Salmiya and the other in the courtyard of a building in Jleeb Al-Shuyoukh. According to a Forensic report both men died on the spot after ‘falling’ to their death from a height. Police have not ruled out foul play. However, the question remains: Did the men commit suicide? Did they accidentally fall to their death? Police are investigating. Interestingly local dailies have given different versions to the story.

According to the Al-Watan daily four Kuwaitis and a Saudi were enjoying a drinking binge and they invited the Iranian to join in the fun. The victim reportedly in an attempt to escape from the men because he feared they were planning to sodomize him, jumped through the window and fell to his death. The daily also said one of the suspects is in police custody, while securitymen are looking for the four others. Meanwhile, the Al-Rai daily said the victim was a transvestite and that the five men befriended him through the Internet chat room. No details on the death of the Bangladeshi man are available.

IN AN "UNRELATED" INCIDENT...

Pimp dies in escape bid: The Jleeb Al-Shuyoukh police, in cooperation with firemen from the area recently raided an apartment and arrested 21 prostitutes, and nine pimps - eight Asians and an Egyptian - and referred them to the authorities, reports Al-Watan daily. Meanwhile, the Al-Anba daily said one Bangladeshi pimp who tried in vain to evade police arrest by jumping from the fourth floor of the apartment died on the spot. A reliable security source said it is not clear if the securitymen had a warrant to raid the place. However, it is common knowledge securitymen seek the help of firemen to break into apartments because the doors and windows of most the apartments where the immoral activities take place are fortified from inside by concrete and iron bars and often have secret passages.

morons morons morons morons morons morons morons...

Ummmm...

2007-04-15T15:22:00.000+03:00

Pimps, prostitutes caught: The Jabriya police recently raided a number of apartments in the area and arrested five Asian prostitutes and nine male Bangladeshi pimps and an unidentified number of persons trading in international calls. All the arrested persons have been referred to the concerned authorities, reports Al-Watan daily. Police have also confiscated from the telephone traders telephone sets, stop watches and various types of communication devices.

(I did not, at this point, realize that stop watches were illegal in Kuwait...)

3 caught in youth’s stabbing: The Jahra police have arrested a 18-year-old Kuwaiti and two other persons for stabbing to death an unidentified GCC youth three days ago, reports Al-Anba daily. A police source said the victim and the suspects were involved in a fight over a car parking space. The car was allegedly parked in front of the home of one of them and when the victim returned he found the wheels of his car had been flattened. The source added the victim became furious and started attacking the suspects and one of them pulled out a knife and stabbed him with a sharp object. The source added the victim had parked the car in front of the home because he had run out of fuel.

Family rescued from ‘rain’: Acting upon information firemen from the Al-Nuwaiseeb fire center rushed to a chalet in Al-Zour and rescued a family which was trapped inside the chalet due to heavy rains. It has been reported the water was gradually entering the chalet, reports Al-Rai daily. The daily quoting eyewitness reports said it took firemen over an hour to suck the water out with the help of a pump.

"Lust Animals"

2007-04-12T15:24:00.000+03:00

Lust turns brothers into animals as sibling suffers sexual assault; Kuwaiti, 10 expats held in work permit forgery
KUWAIT CITY: Two brothers — 19 and 22 years old, have been arrested for having sex with their sister, reports Al-Watan daily. A police source said the suspects were arrested after the victim was caught sobbing by her teacher. When the teacher asked why she was crying, the victim refused to tell at first and finally broke down and narrated the whole incident and the teacher informed the school director. The director of the school called police and the two brothers were taken in for questioning. One of them is said to have admitted to committing the crime while the other has denied any wrongdoing to his sister.

The victim added one of the brothers had sex with her seven years ago and she kept silent at the time because she was young and did not want to create problems in the family. However, she was shocked when the brother did it again. His younger brother also did what the elder brother did, she added. The two brothers will be referred to the Public Prosecution.

Man harasses female student: Police have arrested a Kuwaiti man for taking pictures of a GCC female student with his cell phone and threatening to involve her in a scandal if she breaks off a relationship with him, reports Al-Watan daily. This happened when the victim who is studying in one of the faculties of the Kuwait University in Kaifan decided to cut her relationship with her lover because she discovered he is a married man and has children. However, the man is said to have lured the victim to accompany him to a camp under a pretext and took her pictures. It has been reliably learnt the problem was solved amicably after police summoned the man for interrogation. He is also said to have signed a pledge not to commit the offence.

"Chandra Bobbitt"

2007-04-10T15:28:00.000+03:00

Indian severs off his genitals: A 29-year-old man, identified only as Chandra, has been admitted to the Adan Hospital after he allegedly severed his penis inside his home in Fintas after learning that his wife wanted to marry another man, reports Al-Qabas daily. The daily quoting a security source said the man during interrogation with police reportedly said he became desperate after receiving a letter from his wife back home in India seeking divorce to marry another man. The same source said surgeons at the Adan Hospital tried in vain to stitch the organ in its place.

Strip Tents??

2007-04-10T15:26:00.000+03:00

Obviously, the guy who wrote this is just jealous that HE doesn't get invited to these parties...

Municipality busy cleaning up abandoned nightclub tents
Published Date: April 09, 2007

KUWAIT: The Municipality began their usual annual camp removal campaign in March and recent reports have them clearing out more than the average family campsite. Instead, they are tearing down bars, strip clubs, and brothels...all situated in the blossoming spring camping areas of Kuwait's deserts. With the normal Municipality camp clean ups, officials can be found removing family camps left up beyond the government imposed removal deadline. They remove the clutter, garbage, and left over tents in order to clear the land, making way for the desert spring flowers and grass to blossom and wild life to feed.

This year, however, they are playing cleanup for abandoned nightclub tents. The clubs, which from the pictures published in local newspapers, appear to have been anything but makeshift, boast marble bar tops, bars filled with bottles of the local favourite Johnnie Walker Red and Black (now emptied), sofas, lighting effects to offer just the right ambiance, and one particularly professional looking operation came equipped with two poles (minus the dancers of course...although one can assume they were well used prior to their abandoning).

In the photographs, officials can be seen gesturing above dishevelled beds, complete with animal skin blankets. One strange photograph depicts two officials in the background with the foreground marble topped bar playing host to a pair of silver high-heeled boots and a pack of women's feminine hygiene products. This clean up must have been, in a word, memorable.

As long ago as December, rumours were rampant that there were couples only, alcohol serving, DJ playing, New Years tent parties afoot. Any Kuwaiti who wanted to know more about the "rumour" only needed to ask a few more Kuwaitis about the "rumour", until you found the right Kuwaiti, who knew the right Kuwaiti, who could direct you to the right spot in the desert.

One question comes to mind, in this tiny country of less than three million people where at least every Kuwaiti has at least one relative or friend who works for the Ministry of the Interior (the all encompassing ministry which includes the police, intelligence, vice-squad, highway patrol, drug enforcement) why didn't anyone in the MoI know about the tent night clubs? Why was it that the Municipality played clean up to the mess the MoI should have found prior to its abandoning?

Word spreads fast among Kuwaitis. When there are large scale night club operations underfoot, whether they be in the desert camping grounds, apartments, homes, or beach houses, every Kuwaiti knows at least one Kuwaiti who knows a Kuwaiti who knows the low down. Again, the situation begs the question: why didn't anyone in the MoI know? Are those guys just 'not in the know'? I don't think so...but I'm just an average Kuwaiti, so how would I know?